Stamped: June 15th, 2005 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: dating hijinks, secret crush of the week.

I have a serious secret crush on Brian Greene, the professor at Columbia that teaches String Theory/Quantum Mechanics. Here's why I have a crush on him. Aside from the fact that he looks like David Duchovny (who, by the way, is a former nominee of Secret Crush of the Week after I had a dream of him washing my hair in a steamy bubble bath), Prof. Greene is also a brainiac and a New Yorker. So theoretically I could, you know, sit in on one of his classes and maybe, well, take really good notes then take the final exam and impress him so much that he would like to, perhaps, discuss it over dinner. At dinner I would say things like, "yeah man, quarks are sooo cool, I mean like, remember when everyone was just talking about protons, neutrons and electrons…hahaha" or "you know, empirical evidence is sooo overrated!" After dinner he would say, "I've been meaning to ask you something," at which point I would look deeply into his eyes and do that pouty thing with my lips, "uh huh?", and he would ask, "you know, I noticed when I was trying to record your grades that your name wasn't on the class rost…." This coincides with the moment I wake up, notice my TV is on PBS and I'm sweating like it's a boys' lockeroom.

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