Stamped: June 24th, 2005 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: confession of the week, self flagellation.

As a former catholic school girl I've always had a morbid affection for the concept of confession. It is in this vein that I have decided to institute a segment called 'Confession of the Week'. Unlike the Catholic Church, my confession has no rules, no penance, but there could be some serious repercussions if my mother finds this website.

That having been said, here you go:

Oh man, this is harder than I thought. My fingertips hover ever so slightly above the keyboard wishing to speak of different words than those which my mind currently dictates. Godspeed fingers, the people want to know.

I LOVE Q-TIPs.

Okay, there I said it. But hold off, cause here's where the perversion comes in. Earwax is a pesky problem, a problem which I know nothing about since I q-tip so excessively. You see, I Q all the time, everyday, sometimes more than once a day. I find it to be quite an erotic activity. I've never incorporated it into the sex act but just the thought of it gives me goose pimples. How could I possibly broach the subject with the potential mate…who probably only Qs when his ear feels itchy, ick. Perhaps I could try the 'fresh out of the shower' seduction so it doesn't look so out of place. Up on the bathroom sink, toothbrush in one hand, q-tips in the other. Mmmm. On the other hand if I divulge my perversion it leaves the floodgates open for all of his, and frankly other people's potential perversions frighten me. He could show up at my door with a hula-hoop, his mother's nightgown, and jar of crisco….and there would be nowhere for me to run.

I don't think my q-tip thing is entirely nonsensical. I mean, we stick our tongues in other people's ears all the time (well, I don't), but you get the point. I'm sure I'll find someone someday who will indulge my pervy obsession just once. Who knows maybe I won't like it, maybe my body will take an orificial preference to the bigger "q-tip". I doubt it.

Last 5 posts by Meme

• Mama don't Preach - May 18th, 2007
• You don't have to Fuck Me twice to get the point across - May 11th, 2007
• Update: Newsworthy? - May 4th, 2007
• Nipples, Pasties and Lesbians - April 27th, 2007
• Vagina! - April 20th, 2007