Stamped: July 10th, 2005 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: complaint dept., confession of the week, cry for help, mom.

It has finally happened. It's so shameful, I'm not sure if I could possibly tell you. Since moving to the East Coast I haven't had to worry, but last weekend I was in L.A. and it became a hot button issue among the West Coast division of my clan. It went something like this. "Meme, did you bring your swimsuit because we're all going to the pool?" Ahhhh, did she just utter the 'S' word. I can barely say it without stuttering, 'ssswimmmsuittt'. Oh fuck. I was only in for the weekend so I thought I could sucessfully avoid it, but no, apparently EVERYONE was going to the pool. So I let mum drag up me to the local surf shop.

Although I'm not as 'fit' as I was a few years back, I'm not entirely out of shape. I go to the gym, I ride my bicycle almost everyday, and I walk tons. That being said, I look (deceptively) good in clothes, but nekked or less than clothed, well, let's just say I'm no prize winner.

So the swimsuit.

First of all, mum took me to a surf shop for the young chickies, not a single 1-piece in the place. So I picked about 7 different bikinis and escorted myself into the dressing room of shame.

It was that 3-way mirror that spoke the loudest. "What are you thinking??!!" it said. I whispered back, "Would you mind turning down the lights a bit?" The mirror glared back, unforgiving, "Nothing can help you my dear, but perhaps there's one there that you haven't tried on yet." The mirror was right, but I gasp when I found it at the bottom of the pile. It was…oh, I can't tell you…oh alright, it was the dreaded skirtini. You know the kind, the bikini with an attached skirt on the bottom, the kind I so affectionately remember being popular among the grandmother set in garish colors truly hiding nothing. So against my will I tried it on. And, dare I say, I liked it. I really liked it. I liked it so much that I wore it all day yesterday around the house. I may even wear it to go sunning in Central Park. Nothing's stopping me now, now that I have a skirtini.

Last 5 posts by Meme

• Mama don't Preach - May 18th, 2007
• You don't have to Fuck Me twice to get the point across - May 11th, 2007
• Update: Newsworthy? - May 4th, 2007
• Nipples, Pasties and Lesbians - April 27th, 2007
• Vagina! - April 20th, 2007