Stamped: August 17th, 2005 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: body parts, complaint dept., cry for help, google, iPod, self flagellation.
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You wouldn't know it from the outside.
I have these adorable petite ears. If you really looked at them you'd be compelled to say something along the lines of , "Aw, so cute," or "They look like real ears but smaller." Well, they've always worked just fine for me. They sit close to my head and look good with a pair of modest hoop earrings. (I'm still not sure if they just look small because maybe I suffer from the Pauly D. Syndrome.)
You can imagine my let-down when my brand new iPod arrived in the mail the other day. I was elated then I tried on the ear buds. Ouch. I thought they would just take some getting used to. It's been a week now and I cringe every time I pop them in. I look at all the others on the subway, tapping their feet, gleeful, without any obvious ear pain. I can only draw one conclusion from this: my ears are deformed.
Maybe that's why I'm always responding to people with, "Huh? Wha..?"
After googling "my ears are too small", I found I was not alone. I also found that my only hope was those hideous, hook-over-the-ears, headphones. I just can't bring myself to such a function over form solution. I don't need to look like a phone operator from Star Trek. But what hope is there for me?
In other news: Tonight is date #2 following date #1 from Friday night, aka - Best. Date. Ever., Wish me luck and if it doesn't work out send me your picture. Just Kidding. No I'm not. Yes I am.
Last 5 posts by Meme
My Ill-Shapen Malformed Ears
You should get those big ole 80’s head phones. and hey, small ears are surely better than jumbo ears.
Sydrome? It’s not a syndrome.
My head is really huge. Seriously. That’s nothing to make fun of.
I have the same issue. I also have really sensitive ears so the ear buds just do not work for me. I work from home listening to recorded statements and my head phones are ginormous with lots of padding. LOL
Pauly, my dear, I’m not making fun of you. I would never make fun of you. And haven’t you always wanted a Syndrome named after you, that’s even better than having a stretch of the freeway dedicated to you.
Just make sure that this guy you’re seeing tonight isn’t just dating you for your petite ears. You know men — always interested in one thing.
It’s not cheap, but a pair of these
http://www.headphone.com/products/headphones/in-ear-monitor/etymotic-er-6.php
and a pair of these:
http://shop.store.yahoo.com/earplugstore/cusfitearmol1.html
will give you the most perfect fit possible and also REALLY good sound.
Of course, you’ll end up spending just as much as the iPod itself, but the custom headphones are a long term committment to having good comfortable sound for a long time (long after you’ve replaced the iPod with the next generation player). I’ve gone through 4 MP3 players in the last few years, but will hold on to these headphones for as long as they keep working.
I always wondered why those damn ipod ear buds hurt my ears. Thanks for shedding light on this. Maybe we can start a support group. Although the more I think about it, we’re better off without those ear buds. They’re more fashion than function and who wants to be a walking ipod advert anyways?
My head is bigger than Pauly D’s. I checked. It’s really sad.
Justin, I don’t believe you. NO ONE has a bigger head than Pauly D!
good luck on your date!
I truly do feel for you. I also suffer from small ears (My 13 month old nephew has ears which are now as large as mine). This of course is made all the more comical by the Pauly D. size of my head.
We even won’t discuss my toes.
My wife does that enough.
I’ll just say one word: “prehensile”.
I used to be an ear model (runway mostly, some magazine but only covers) until that tragic lumber mill accident.
Thanks Ms. Sizzle! I can’t wait….tick tock… two more hours!
Neil: Don’t worry. He said something about ‘hot sex’, so I know he’s not just interested in me for my cute ears.
J. Sweeney: “prehensile” huh? Sorry man, that’s really creepy. You’re gonna need to start your own support group.
JJ: I knew there was something familiar about you, didn’t you used to run with that Warhol crowd in the 70’s?
oooooh! i’m excited for you. i recently had a date that was remarkably not god-awful. and when that happens, there are so many reasons for celebration. “good luck” sounds condescending here, but i’m totally rooting for you.