Stamped: August 27th, 2005 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: confession of the week, neuroses, things i ♥, tuna.

There are two loves in my life. Two “obsessions” if you will. Two perfectly designed elements found on this planet Earth of ours that make me squirm with happiness: Any reality TV show that contains an audition montage and Tuna. My idea of a perfect evening is watching the first few uncut episodes of American Idol and X factor with a plate of slightly chilled tuna sashimi, grilled Ahi steak and a plain can of “Chicken of the Sea”.

I could watch strangers auditioning on TV for hours on end. They should create a channel dedicated to only this. I love the vulnerability, the pathetic pimply souls who believe they have talent when they warble an offbeat version of the latest Justin Timberlake song, the diamonds in the rough soon to be the “next big thing”. It all feeds my inner diva, that little “x” factor I’m sure resides in me somewhere.

Then there’s the tuna. I experience a strange phenomenon where my back molars itch, actually physically itch, whenever I think of tuna. It is happening right now. It’s been happening probably ever since I even developed my back teeth. Perhaps my mother ate too much cans of StarKist when she was pregnant. Man, this itching is getting bad now. I may have to dig out the emergency can of tuna from the bottom of the cupboard.

I either should find a tailor made support group, or become a casting director who barks out her sushi order for lunch everyday to her assistant.

Last 5 posts by Betty

• Under heart-shaped pressure - February 14th, 2007
• Going Geisha so you don't have to - November 10th, 2006
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• Wax on, Wax off - August 25th, 2006
• My summer is filled with beer and balls - June 14th, 2006