Girlfriend For A Day
Stamped: August 29th, 2005 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: dating hijinks, get rich quick schemes, girlfriend for a day.
Today's installment of Girlfriend for a Day gives you the opportunity to know what it's like to be my boyfriend for one day, and one day only. It's the commitment without the commitment. You may sign up for one of the following packages:
1. The Saturday Package: Hanging out at home, doing laundry, getting frisky. Maybe I'll cook dinner, maybe not. You're probably not getting any. $39.99
2. The Weekday Package: You go to work, I go to work. You don't hear from me. You go home alone and fall asleep. $4.99
3. The Wallet-Buster Package: You take me out to a fancy dinner, after-dinner drinks and dancing. You also bring a gift, jewelry, electronics, etc. I get progressively drunker throughout the evening. By the time you get me back to your place I've passed out. $49.99 (cost of dinner and gift not included)
4. The Sweet Girlfriend Phone Call: I call you and tell you that I miss you. You respond inappropriately, an arguement ensues. $9.99
5. The Two-Timer Package: You show up at my place unannounced and find me in bed with your best friend. Free. You join in. $999.99
6. The PMS Girlfriend Package: You come over and I start by telling you that you've replaced the toilet paper the wrong way, I burst into tears and ask you if you're ever gonna ask me to marry you and why the hell you brought over Moo Goo Gai Pan when you know I don't like Chinese food. I repeat over and over while sobbing, 'you really don't know me at all'. $19.99
7. The Call From the OB-GYN's Office: Topic of your choice. $99.99
Last 5 posts by Meme
- Mama don't Preach - May 18th, 2007
- You don't have to Fuck Me twice to get the point across - May 11th, 2007
- Update: Newsworthy? - May 4th, 2007
- Nipples, Pasties and Lesbians - April 27th, 2007
- Vagina! - April 20th, 2007
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— 30 August 2005 @ 5:15 pm
Comments
this is perfect for ebay. go ahead, I dare ya.
This was really funny and I’d say the prices are reasonable.
funny stuff
Do offer installment payment plans?
I’ll take the two-timer package, provided my best friend can be a woman.
Charlie: I only accept Visa, Mastercard, Checks, Money Orders, Blood drawn directly from a main artery, and American Express.
TAB: Clever! That’s extra.
How about the clairvoyant? I get pissed because he don’t understand something I clearly explained to him six years ago. How could he not remember? I vow never to tell him anything again because clearly he’s too dumb.
Drinking ensues.
Okay, finding your site today was probably the most productive thing I’ve done today. And it’s 11pm, so I’ve done about 4 things already. Hysterical.
I’ll be adding you to my links.
This is a real life testimonial.
My friend bought me Meme’s PMS Girlfriend Package as a birthday gift. It was the best gift ever I ever got. Meme came through exactly as was advertised on her website. From the real tears to the bottle of olive oil that she threw at my head, everything was high quality drama. I’ve tried other packages with other women, but Meme is really in a class of her own. She was born to play a woman with PMS. I loved the way she made me return to Hunan Garden THREE TIMES, each time complaining that the fortune in the fortune cookie was insulting. I loved the little details, like the way she made me sleep on the couch and the way she called out to me every few minutes, “Bring me a glass of water, you #@^%$#*!!!!”
Two thumbs up for a great, authentic experience.
I recommend everyone spend a night with Meme with this PMS Girlfriend Package.
Mention me and get a 10% discount.
Hmmmm — what to choose, what to choose?
Oh, I know: How about package no. 8. I comment on your blog, you comment on mine… (hey, did that just happen already?) - that’s the virtual girlfriend for a day package - for girls, and neither of us never pay for anything… ;o)
Neil: I feel for you!
Neil: Don’t forget the 3 times I sent you back to Duane Reade cause you bought the wrong goddamn tampons.
Thanks babyjewels!
Rarity…I’ll definitely stop by, but if you want scripted comments that’s extra, I’ll fax you the complete price list.
Maybe that’s what’s wrong with my life: not enough PMS drama. Nope. That’s DEFINITELY not it. I’ll go with the #3 because you probably look cute passed out and I can finish watching the game while you sleep.
Umm… do you accept competitors coupons?
dude, you so need to increase your rates. you’ll be swamped at those prices! you’ll be so busy sleeping, yelling, eating, or drinking that you’ll have to quit your blog-writing. and THEN you wouldn’t be able to share any of these clever stories. and THAT would just be counterproductive, wouldn’t it?
AJ: What competitors?!?!
kristine: you’re SO right…okay, as of now all prices are doubled.
Do you have any discount deals? I know AAA has a bunch of arrangements with businesses for discount tickets, have they contacted you yet?