Horizontally Speaking, He’s at His Best
Stamped: September 7th, 2005 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: get rich quick schemes, marketing, work.
I have decided that I need branch out and start my own business. Since this is such a huge life change, I've put quite a bit of thought into this. What could I do best? Where will my best features shine? How can I utilize my vast experience and turn it all into cold hard cash?
I could be a lady-pimp for the boys.
Why not? I've got tons of male friends. Men like sex. I'm horrible at intimacy but great at keeping things strictly business. That way I could always have guys around me who look up to me (or fear me…what does it matter, right?) It's a perfect fit. Plus I've been known to kick some ass, so if any of the boys or their Janes get out of line I'd be on top of it.
Being the organized person that I am I've put the following business plan together for potential investors.
Meme and Co. Marketing Plan
PRODUCT DESCRIPTION:
Hot boy love for busy gals
MARKET SUMMARY
Market:
• Market share: Midtown-Lower Manhattan
• Leadership: Me
• Players: Me (oh yeah, that's right)
• Competition: 125th Street Madame & Brooklyn Granny
• Market Trends: As more and more women enter the workforce they find it more convenient to just pay for lovin and get back to the business of total world domination.
• Costs: Daily rental of apartments around Manhattan, Fur-lined coats, booze, big rattan chair, designer outfits for the boys, like the new D&G Jeans.
• Pricing…TBD
MARKET SHARE: Where the women are…
NECESSARY CAPITAL:
For start-up capital I will need at least $500,000, plus a fat ride. And a restaurant to run as a front.
DESIRED WORKFORCE: My bitches…
Please post resumes here.
Last 5 posts by Meme
- Mama don't Preach - May 18th, 2007
- You don't have to Fuck Me twice to get the point across - May 11th, 2007
- Update: Newsworthy? - May 4th, 2007
- Nipples, Pasties and Lesbians - April 27th, 2007
- Vagina! - April 20th, 2007
You’re putting an awful lot of stock in the demand for hot geeks. There are actually women out there who like geeks?
i like geeks.
i also really like the song your post title is from.
I guarantee you, geek love is where it’s at.
Cool. I’m a geek.
I’m all about the hot geeks! Geek me baby one more time…
I’m a geek and women love me althoght I am not your typical geek. I will be your first employee Meme. Sign me up.
Aren’t you missing out on the Upper West Side/Brooklyn market?
And what do I do if I fall into all four Male categories?
Oh yeah. Geeks are where it’s at.
I can be your slave!!!!!
Well then, I had no idea there was this much demand for geek love, for I’m certainly not seeing it in my own personal adventures. For a nominal fee, payable in lovin’, I can open up the West Coast branch office.
Scrivies: I’ll fax your contract right over, I hope it doesn’t conflict with the 9rules contract.
Keith: Great! Go to Ikea and pick up some beds…We’re in business!
Olalala…: Me likey
Neil: You’re a cowboy?!?!
GEEK LOVE 4-EVER!
Sorry.
I’m not a geek.
I am SO geek I don’t want to be in your stable - I want to be your accountant. And I don’t know anything about accounting! (But being a geek, I suppose I could learn.)
One question - do offer dental?
- One question - do offer dental? -
I suppose while I’m learning accounting I could also learn how to type.
Pauly: Hahaha…You’re the geekiest guy I know, and that’s why I love you.
Bill: Dental? If you’re referring to dental dams, then YES!
Do you need a crabby middle aged father of two in your stable? Maybe to remind women why they’re better off single? I can sit around and drink beer and watch sports while completely ignoring them and not cleaning up after myself. Just a thought.
Cool blog you got here! Good luck with your new business idea!
Peace!
NJ from NJ
love the pie chart, but now I’m kinda hungry
i concur on the geek-loving. a hot geek beats a HOTTT celebrity or celebrity knock-off any day, kids. and you can take that shit to the mothergrabbin’ BANK.
What if the geek is cute, but not hot? Will there still be mothergrabbin’ bank involved?
doubtful.
unless HE is the one with the bank. that is just MONEY.
You know, I’ve been scratching my head trying to figure out where I heard that phrase, “Horizontally speaking, he’s at his best.” Then my iPod told me when it played Bewitched, Bothered & Bewildered. You’ve no idea what a relief that is.