Tessa Road Rage
Stamped: October 6th, 2005 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: around town, complaint dept..
Why is it that the average person goes from being a good, caring citizen to a total fucking social menace the second they slip behind the wheel of a car?
I mean, I tend to think of people as being generally good. On rare days, yes, I walk around muttering "I hate this place", meaning the world, which usually signals the beginning of an existential spiral into a very very black mood. But that's not important right now, because usually I have a pretty optimistic view of the human population here in lovely, polite, respectable, easily stereotyped Canada.
And then I try to cross a street, and the realization hits me. I was so wrong about you people. I was idealistic, naive, typically twenty (which, by the way, is much too tender an age for death by motorized vehicle).
The truth is that, like Lexie said, the world is full of assholes. And they all drive cars.
Part of this, I'm sure, is my bitterness over being a poor college student who won't be able to afford a car - let alone insurance - for at least four more years. Right now, I use the hell out of public transit. When I can't be bothered to wait, I walk. To the bank, the grocery store, wherever. So it really pisses me off when some pompous jackoff in a BMW decides that he can't wait half a minute for me to cross the street before he peels around that corner. Probably on his way to Starbucks.
I don't understand what's so difficult about the concept of "pedestrian crossing". It's a crossing. For pedestrians. People on their feet. Walking. Across the street. Preferably without being smoked by an SUV. Yet somehow, this eludes most drivers. They either fail to see the lit up walk sign, or they consciously ignore it, or they actually want that white light to be the last thing some poor student sees. If you chose a, you're an idiot. If you chose b, you're an idiot and an asshole. If you chose c, you're an idiot and an asshole and if it weren't such a waste of my future tax dollars I'd want you in jail.
So here's the deal, asshole drivers: when you see that sign, STOP. You don't need your grande toffee nut latte that badly, do you? No, you don't. So just take your foot off the gas pedal for a whole half minute and let me cross the street in peace. Don't rev your engine impatiently or edge as close to me as you can possibly get, waiting until I'm two centimetres past your bumper to rip around that corner. Don't glare at me or drum your fingers on the steering wheel. Don't test my very limited patience.
The other day, this cowboy in a black truck decided he was going to do all of the above things, and since I had just about had it with the driving population, I decided I was going to walk as sloooowly as possible. And I did. I took my sweet time. I sauntered into the middle of the lane, stopped to open my handbag and rummage through it until I found my sunglasses, put them on, turned and smiled innocently at him, then shuffled aimlessly to the curb. Let me tell you, this jerk was right pissed. He honked his horn and squealed his tires so loudly I thought my inner ear was going to explode. But it was worth it, because maybe now he'll think twice before going all road-ragey on some pedestrian (and while we're on the subject of road rage, if anyone deserves to have it, it's the girl sweating her way home with a heavy shoulder bag and stomach cramps). I know that sounds like petty revenge, but I prefer to think of it as a symbolic gesture.
SuperTessa: standing up for the rights of harassed pedestrians everywhere.
Last 5 posts by Tessa
- What a Girl Wants (because if I have that godawful song stuck in my head you all should too) - November 17th, 2005
- Time flies when you're having imaginary sex in the back room. - November 2nd, 2005
- Put that on a Post-It, bitch. - October 20th, 2005
- contrary to popular belief, this is not a sex blog - October 3rd, 2005
As a voluntary non-driver and full time pedestrian (when i’m not being chauffered that is) I fully agree with you. The worst is when drivers get all antsy when it’s raining/snowing outside. Buddy, you’re in the safety of your car, what is too extra seconds of warmth while you wait for me to cross the street in a freezing storm going to hurt you.
You should come to New York…where the cars have to watch out for the mob pedestrians.
I don’t have a road rage problem, everyone else has a getting out of my way problem. Just saying.
i’m drunk.
what?
As someone who doesn’t drive, many things about the driving experience escape me. One that greatly puzzles me is this: why do drivers only use their turn signals when they are halfway through their turn? It seems rather pointless at that stage. But maybe I’m missing something.
And what’s with the hub caps that spin when the car is stopped? What idiot pays money for that? What message are they trying to send? “I’m such an ass I don’t think the dumbfuck vehicle I’m driving is enough of an advertisement, I want something else to really drive home to the world that I’m a fucking moron.”
As someone who started driving within the last year, I can give all perspectives. In my years of walking everywhere I hated drivers. Now I hate pedestrians, and cyclists. And drivers. And bikers. They’re all assholes, in their own special way. It’s just that cars have more muscle.
Hear, hear Smoove D.
As a diehard pedestrian, I have to say drivers confound me rather than inspire hatred. And this is even after being hit and almost hit by dozens of drivers in a race to go probably no where important. The things that confound me the most are—
• Why drivers hit their horn at red lights? Why??!! It’s red, you shouldn’t be going any faster than your going, which means you should be stopped.
• Why, when you have a Saturday or Sunday off, with nothing to do but go to the beach, park, etc. and laze about and have fun; are you frothing at the face in anger, at people who you’ve deemed to be going to slow?
• Why do you drink your latte, talk on your cell phone, while turning up/down your radio or pulling documents out of your bag/briefcase. Then holler at pedestrians and or other drivers for being bad/inconsiderate/irresponsible.
• Why, o’ why do seemingly nice people, including my friends and family, turn into seething balls of rage as soon as they pull onto a road with more than two cars??
I’m a conscientious walker. I wave thank you when drivers let me pass. If I see a turn about to clear, I don’t enter the cross walk. I check all directions before entering the street, and have a healthy respect for the fact that even if I’m right, and have the right of way, that cars are bigger faster, and most likely are harboring someone oblivious to just how wrong they are about to be. That combined with knowledge of my lack of insurance besides accidental life & death, keeps me firmly planted on the sidewalk when doubt or excessive speed situations arise.
I have friends who always take the freeway and main streets because “they’re faster”, yet spend the whole trip (all 10-15 min of it) frustrated. Why not just add 2 minutes, take a backroad with little traffic and personal hinderance and enjoy the day.
See… a lack of comprehension.
Tessa,
I feel you, too many jerks behind the wheel who forgot that they were once pedestrians.
But…I don’t think that when they’re not behind the wheel they are much different. An asshole is still an asshole with or without the car (some tend to be even more of an asshole when they drive an expensive car)