Stamped: October 11th, 2005 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: cry for help, dating hijinks, hot sex.
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No really, fuck me.
You see, I'm not one to mince words. And, well, desperate times call for desperate measures.
Allow me to explain. I'm a bit boy-crazy these days. My mind is a-swirl with fanatasies and unimaginable scenarios. My fantasies almost never involve any of the following:
- flowers
- caressing
- holding-hands
- looking into each others eyes longingly
- slow kissing
- long heart-felt conversations
- poetry
- massages
- or any kind of long drawn out seductions
I want nothing to do with any of that. And I know I'm not alone in this one. Please, don't send me sweet emails, whisper gently in my ear, take me out for fancy dinners, or leave me notes on the bedside table.
Now that we've got all that out of the way I think we can proceed.
Here are the rules for dating me:
- hot, sweaty, rip-my-clothes-off, up-against-the-wall, outta control sex
Um, no other rules really come to mind, but I'll be sure to add them when I think of them. Here's the major problem I have encountered in my pursuit. Men. That's right, you heard me. Men. It seems you guys want all kinds of romantic accoutrements like a relationship, a commitment and, god forbid, to have kids. This, my friends, is the sad truth. There are no more good lays out there. These guys are looking for wives. And, well, I'm just not the marrying kind.
So what's a girl to do?
I could post an ad on Craigslist's "casual encounters" but the anonymous sex with a stranger thing kinda creeps me out. I could call up my male friends, but most of them are attached or single and a bit too 'emotionally available', if you know what I mean. There's always my ex's, but well, that's just asking for trouble. I could befriend as many men as possible and wear them down with hypnosis, "You are getting tired, you do not want a relationship, you want an all-night hump-fest, now when I snap my fingers you will have an erection."
Snap.
Last 5 posts by Meme
Fuck Me!
No Poetry?! What are we, animals?
Aim young. Show me a twenty-one year old looking for marriage and I’ll show you a liar.
*Looks over at girlfriend*
Shiiiiiiiiiit.
Mike, that’s the funniest thing I’ve seen all week.
Completely ridiculous. I don’t what kind of guys you are meeting, but I spent many years trying to get away from girls that wanted more than the occasional hump-fest. It always starts off cool, but after about 3 romps, you gals quickly start pushing for a more formal relationship.
If that’s what you REALLY want, just say it up front. I don’t know too many guys that would object to such a relationship. It will allow them to get their rocks off ferquently while simultaneously looking for a girl that they would actually want to do more with than just fuck.
So how much is a JetBlue flight…?
Stick to married men. They (usually) aren’t looking for a relationship, and will probably ask when and where. Some may just ask you to bend over a convenient waist-high object, rip your clothing out of the way (you didn’t want that thong, did you?) and take care of your problem. And theirs, now that you snapped your fingers.
Yet another example of women treating men like a piece of meat.
Sickening, really.
Oh my god! Where were you about 4 years ago. Sigh.
First of all, I work hard for my money. I want to look good, so I buy nice clothes at nice stores like Bloomingdale’s and Nordstrom. I don’t care what type of sex is involved, even with someone like you Meme — no one is ripping off my clothes and getting it all creased, or worse — making a button fall off and roll under the bed, where it is so dark it is impossible to find it again. If you do want sex, I will be glad to oblige. But only after I carefully undress and hang my nice clothes on a wood hanger. (do not invite me over if you only have plastic or metal hangers — that would make me lose my erection immediately).
neil works hard for his money.
so hard for it, honey.
Finally, a girl like mom. When can we hookup?
Hey, you had your chance a couple weeks ago, baby …
Sounds like an excellent cause, count me in.
I’ve met some guys that can adhere to The Rules.
But! The catch is that they’re dumb, dull, and immature. I don’t know about you, but I’m not all too fond of letting assholes fuck me — nor am I fond of him telling his friends “Uh, dude, I totally hit that” afterwards.
As a guy said before, married men almost meet the requirements…if only they weren’t married. I’m not saying I am innocent in this matter, but it’s tops the evil of all evils chart. Especially if they have kids.
Ah, it’s a lose/lose deal at this point. Maybe guys 21-25 are going through some sort of phase that they’ll get over soon. A short lived “must find a girl to marry” period. I can only wish.
Pierce: Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, If you come over I’ll be your Blowjob Queen too.
Mike, oh Mike…HAHAHAHAHAHAHA (That’s goes for you too, Shawn)
Keith, just don’t expect me to pick you up at the airport.
Um, Neil, I only have wooden hangers, but I’m afraid you’d be wasting precious time with your neurosis.
Now now Bill, that’s just creeping me out.
Oh Dash! I was a fool, forgive me.
Alby, you’re on.
Listen to me Andrea…I know thy’re out there…I just have to believe.
*Ahem* I’m available. I said I’m Available! I said I’M AVAILABLE!!!
Holy crap, where do I go to meet people like you?
Why aren’t there more women like you in the world?
fuck a chick. really. it works.
Oh, sweet freaking jebus.
I need to stop reading blogs.
Where are all you people? Why don’t I know any of you in real life.
[sulks away muttering curses.]
Yes, it kinda creeped me out too. But, it made me laugh! Thank heaven for your server issues. My original comment alluded to testicles and onion dip. On reflection, I’m glad I didn’t post it.
Larry Borsato Says:
Stick to married men.
Tried that, doesn’t work. He got stuck and is now showering in my shower…
Such a warm post.
I’ll get off the pulligan before get in fire.
What did you eat before write the post? Hot cockyes? Pardon cookies.
Good post.
I’m yet astonished yet.
Blowjob. A new word for for my small… vocabulary.
Nice day, meme
Emma, you need to put a disclaimer on your door:
Sex only - no cohabitation thanks.
Meme:
There is something to be said for a nice hunky houseboy. They are always around when you aren’t attached otherwise. And, keep list of fuckdate material.
Gentlemen:
You apparently haven’t been looking in the right places.
S-
snap your fingers?……….I always have an erection
ok chris…i’ll be over at 7.
please don’t wear anything too complicated.
There are people out there that believe the whole relationship model is dated. Just doesn’t work. We wanna take it easy. We want sex with a bunch of people. I fucking hate romantic shit lately. Always seems to end in misery.
I was just beginning to think this wasn’t a girl thing though. Most I know are romance freaks. I changed my mind.
Let me know when you get back from chris’ place…
read it
Click
or leave it.
thx 4 the tip… i’ll definitely be reading this as well as Anapol’s book which was usefully recommended by amazon’s computer brain (and it’s readers =).
Hi Meme, this is my first time checking this blog out. I sort of ‘fell’ for the title of this post.
Ehh… Like… I’m from Sweden right. We’re supposed to be, like, very sexually open and stuff. Well, this guy called Ingmar Bergman and some other people made a lot of black and white movies during the 50’s and 60’s where sexual frustration was a major influence and theme. That’s why.
Well… That’s 40 years ago and we’ve gone back to the sexual frustration again.
Give me a call next time in Sweden? Okey?
Cheers, David!
Sigh…I will not pretend that I understand what women think. Femal friends tell me that they want a lover. Most of the girls I know tell me they want a guy who treats them right.
Then I read posts like this. Which one is real?
The problem with guys is that they always think that what’s in their heads is the actual reality. For example, this one guy I fucked twice and really liked to fuck freaked out when I called him for a third encounter. He just couldn’t believe that the sex was the main course, instead he told me he didn’t want a relationship and backed off.
I mean, WTF?! You conceited son of a bitch, I hope you never fuck again.
And BM, you’re kidding, right? If not, here’s a lesson for ya: They’re all real. Contrary to popular belief women are not all the same. Most of my female friends appreciate casual sex, but there are also those who want a male to spoon and breed with. The sad thing is that the latter have somehow set the agenda, hence my failed fuck buddy relation.
What’s a girl to do, hope for the next generation? Gawd I sure hope they like elderly women.
Btw I just found girlspoke and it’s amazing. I notice that you’ve had a visitor from Sweden. I, too, am from Sweden. David, shall we meet and fuck? But only if you’re a minimum of 5′11″ and very sexy. Or at least not fat with greasy comb over.
Jeez, NOW I notice that this post is like a month and a half old. Sorry about that.
how old is “elderly”?
Never ever use the words “snap” and “erection” within three words of each other. I’m still extremely traumatized about my broken penis.
nothing to add there, this is exactly how i feel.
Snap.
Shhhwwiinnnng!
I hate you for those lewd remarks, I fucked Buddha tonite and she was fine with it, you sound like a boring bored spoil creep with several issues. Meh meh it that a goat??
yeah when and where lol no joke when and where
i was looking (surfing) 4 tools, and dont ask me how but i came accross your story. I like it. i am 32 good looking, in spring mountain PA. i am looking 4 the same no hang ups, sex. reply to petersudduth@hotmail.com
“Here are the rules for dating me: … * hot, sweaty, rip-my-clothes-off, up-against-the-wall, outta control sex”
Now, to find the one young intelligent handsome (somewhat proper) guy who will admit that what you named is all he wants. Many of those men that feign interest in romantic displays, do so out of honest fear that they’ll be written off as a pervert if they try to touch on sex before the romance is done.( I occasionally fall into this category myself). If a beautiful lusciously sexy girl (like yourself) would so much as mention that she grows tired of romantic gestures and pines with a passion for hot steamy sex, I guarantee she’d have her hands (or holes as the case me be) throbbingly full in a heart-beat
Joseph O.
20/M/New York
What’s for breakfast?
gee but you are a sl_t sorry for my french but thats no lady that is a deziez spreder mates look out for this one
On second thought, one begins to wonder if any woman’s passion or lust could be so intense as to last for the span of one full year. For the uninformed/naive: The above article/sexual-plea was posted 3 days short of one full year from this day. In the rare event that Meme’s sexual passion has actually endured for such an extended period of time, I dare-say that the largest lot of you people would fall short of fulfilling her demands.
You are a whore. Ever heard of STD’s? Youre probably a home wrecker too. I hope you end up stinky, used and alone tramp.
You made me Sekse and Jalte collided stand to lift the U,I want to taking in your mouth and every M’chertk
The trouble with men is that most of us have forgotten how to just “take a woman”. Somethng to do with the femenist movement I guess. Me, I have always been of the the bekief that most women want to be treated like a Princess and fucked like an animal……Let’s do it!
fuck me
Hi im a 30 year old man that do like Sex and play encounters if i ma be so blunt.i had a couple of relationships where is was just used and hurt and then left behind , im a very lonely person with a lot of love to give even if it is through sex or as u put it fucking fucking and more fucking.i must be tell u one thing one of my favourite parts of th female body is the two breasts very yummy to suck and the best part the pussy ver yummy to fuck.
hay sexy my name is channie i think that we would get along just right i dont really like the mushy kind of crap and i think this site is pretty cool.
now a word for the guys/Men if you have just met a girl and you are going on you first date with her and you want to get her something but you dont know what to get her then just aske one of her friends alright…
love from channie
peace out yall
Ill fuck you all night. No poetry, no commitment, no attachments. Hell your the perfect woman. Im 19 years old and full of energy so what do you say?
i like to look at a girls boobs then judge those boobs from ex-girlfreind. or i would give her a drink talk with her for five ten minutes the give her my address, phone number, e-mail, and anything else she wants.
ashley r u hot? if yes give me your e-mail address and your cell phone number. i would love to fuck you. Hard or soft? slow or fast? painful or not?
I’ll do it
i wanna fuck u can u come india…?
sexxxxxxxxxxxx only sexxxxxxxxxxxx
WOW! I hooked up with this beautiful girl last night!!!
She is a FUCKING sexy animal!
We fucked & sucked etc. on and off for 13 hours. She can take it in ALL her sexy holes. The best blowjobs I ever got. I shot on her pretty face many times and YES she swallows.
Her pussy was soft and heavenly. She tasted very nice. A lovely clean shaven pussy with perfect lips and no beef chops sticking out, very pretty cunt.
Her ass was tight as hell and was not used much before with cocks. I am not too long at 8 inches but I am pretty thick. So it took me around 30 mins to plant my thick dick to the hilt in her ever so willing ass.
Her tits and mouth are so welcoming. This girl is better than any of the sexy divas you see on TV. She should be a model!
I could fuck her over and over for years and years (with breaks of course).
Ohhhhh, fucking her ass was a dream come true and she loved every minute of it. We are going to meet again in a few days because I am away on business. I will keep seeing her fuckable hot body in my mind every second of the day! Thank you baby for the BEST time of my life. Guys, form a line because she is 10/10 and hot as hell!!!
were you live at?
Love to fuck. Cant get enough. No relationship is fine with me.
well if yea wanna fuck just give me a shout asap cuz ima always willing!
i forgot to say thats if you like the young ones!
WOW! I met her again for a few hours. She was FUCKING GREAT! This girl can sure suck and take dick like nobody’s business. She loves it in the ass so much now. I can’t get enough too but I think this girl is going to wear me out.
She is a hot as a hot poker, well it is me who actually poked her. Hehe.
Going to meet up with her again next month. I am not going to have sex for those days and save a big giant wad of spunk for this chick as she LOVES to swallow buckets.
hey u wanna real man hit me up no strings attached
I would grudge-fuck you …anytime, anyplace. Romance is for suckers and dreamers.
Orgasm through violent throw me down sex is all that we should live for. My rigid cock will impale your juicy pussy and fill it to beyond overflowing with my huge hot load-I would graciously ravage your deep throat and surely delicious ass with equal aggressive rage. Take my cock! Now! Eat this dick!…but don’t you dare spit me out! I am saving a special nut, just to bust up inside your soaking wet slippery, sleezy fuck-hOles.
%100 Safe and Sterile.
(NO KIDS ALIVE OR ALLOWED)
so when do we meet????????
fuck me
hey babe u want 2 fuck some time just bring it. I will give u the ride of your life. If u think all them other guys had somthing wait til u see and fil this peac of meat. P.S MEET U IN BED.
so where do you want to meet
Fuck You…
SO WHERE DO YOU WANT TO MEAT ME AT IM READY AND WILLING ANY PORT ANY TIME
wild sex is cool ,but my favorite thing is eating pussy and making you cum.im 43,and a workaholic divorcey ,i practice safe sex,and prefer it wild and nasty no strings attached.oh yea im a landscaper so i don’t give flowers i plant them.
HEY lets do im married 37yrs big cock
When and where
ID rip your clothes off and fuck you like u never been fucked…OVER>>AND OVER then leave your ass dripping……BIATCH
Yo…Im looking for someone who Ican fuck untill she bleeds, are you that girl?
Hiya, I’m quite willing to fulfill your needs, no attachments, no trouble, just want to have crazymonkeysex, email me so that we can set the date.
hey im lookin just to fuck to so hit me up come by my place
Ill give u what u want
if you want a great fucking i will throw you against the wall and eat you out then pound the shit out of you.i’m waiting…………………
Lets Fuck
well damn its uncommmon for women to say that so as men im sure we are bit taken back but where are you anyway im sure there is a big city full of men that would like to.
call me 07973753142
I would love to fuck you…lets get to know each other…or not, lets just fuck…your call!
I think we should spend at least a month or so masterbating at each other. Then we can progress from there and help each other masterbate. Like once or twice. Then, We can give each other head for about a week, or when it turns into routine orgasm. Then and ONLY then, We should Fuck ! twice a week, until you kill me. Shouldn’t take too long, I am 50. LoL
Yoo Hoo PuDiTiNu !!!!
so if i obey all those rules can i fuck you hard and make you moan to make me stop but i wont stop