Stamped: November 5th, 2005 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: complaint dept., neuroses, spank.
Similarly tagged posts
- Jerk Off For Weight Loss?? My Ass!!
- How are you? No really, how are you?
- Baby Jane gets laid
- Vagina, I Curse Thee
- Summertime Blues
- Today's Post Will Have the Most Insulting Comments Ever
- Complaint Department
- Confession of the Week
- Oy, My Tits!
- Ex-Girlfriend for a Day
- And That, My Friend, Is All There Is
- Dates of Yore
- My Mother Found My Website*
- Dreamin' a Dream of You
- The Six Thirty Date
- A Momentary Lapse In Judgement
- Lying To The Girl You Fuck. Fa la la la la
- Solution Blonde
- OK, She Fainted. Can We Move On Yet??
- Aghast at Abercrombie & Fitch
- Hold The Dirty Talk If You Want A Piece Of Me
- Confucius Says...
- Please Don’t Be Nice
- Reader 'D' -- This One's For You
- losing my patience and my hard-on
- My Milanese Life Obliterated
- Man And The Forbidden Pussy
- My Waiting Room Epiphany
- To The Guy Who Almost Broke My Rose-Colored Glasses
- my online dating man list
- At Least I'm Cute
- An Open Letter To The Bitch Who Recently Waxed My Brows
- shouldn't be ashamed
- I (am falling out of) Love (with) NY
- Under heart-shaped pressure
- Have you seen this girl?
- GA
- Hell is for Children
- Oh yeah? Fuck you too.
- Breaking News: Stupidity Abounds
- On leaving well enough alone
- those aren't freckles
- Hi, I'm Brandy Crawford.
- Intelligent Design?
- Budget Vans are Funny
- Lo's Weekly Rant: I Call Bullshit.
- Yes, We Have No Bananas
- Lo's Church of Unattainable Men: Part Deux
- Children are the future (aka I think my ovaries just shrivelled up and fell off)
- Give me your best O face
- Lo's Weekly Sob Fest
- A Girl's Best Friend
- Lo's Weekly....Whatever.
- Top Five People Screwing Up Girlspokia
- Lo's Weekly Rant
- To My Lovely Neighbor
- Lo's Weekly Rant
- Lo's Weekly Rant
- Yes, You Do Look Fat in That
- A debate yet to be debated
- Odd Female Behavior: The Bachelorette Party
- Lo's Weekly Rant
- Some days it doesn't pay to even get out of bed
- Lo's Weekly Rant
- How I Blog: Girlspoke Edition
- Lo's Weekly Rant
- Lo's Weekly Rant
- So you think you know Meme?
- Lo's Weekly Rant
- I Don't Get It
- Lo's Weekly Rant
- Lo's Weekly Rant
- Lo's Weekly Rant
- Lo's Weekly Rant
- Subway Rage
- Speaking of Porn...
- Lo's Weekly Rant
- Let Me Explain...again.
- Lo's Weekly Rant
- Let Me Explain...
- How (not) to...
- Happy Valentine's Day Bitches
- Round Two...
- Girlspoke Dumping Service™
- Scratching the Surface
- The 135th Post, Hoss
- Meme's Last Blog Will and Testament
- Mr. New York, Wherever You Are
- Why I Hate You
- We are now entering the Doldrums
- Are You My Future Husband?
- Put that on a Post-It, bitch.
- On Asses and Literature
- A Moment In Time
- Server Issues
- Road Rage
- Not in My Panties
- The perils of an American call centre girl in England
- Today's Fictitious Conversation With My Non-Existent Boyfriend
- Put Your Best Foot Forward
- Something you should know about me first
- http://love.google.com
- My Ill-Shapen Malformed Ears
- Alone Together
- Baby You Can Drive My Car
- Riddle Me This
- Sometimes you feel like a nut...
- Ice Ice Baby
- And The Winner Is...
- Zip Me Up, Zip Me Down
- the Alphabet can Be so Cruel
- All by myself...don't wanna be..all by myself
- ♫ Won't you be my neighbor ♫
- Confession of the Week
- I ♥ Nutella™
- Exercises in Futility
Now I know it’s been said here before, but I’ll say it again; Goddamn you daylight saving! A curse on you and your bleak mole eyed loved ones.
All dark and no sun make Betty a right Bitch. I can just about hear the feeble cries of my bodily cells screaming, “Vitamin D, Vitamin D… must have sunlight to live”…and they’re keeping me up at night. I’ve had a permanent cough and cold for the past two weeks (the pounding of screwdrivers and inhaling of cigarettes on a near nightly basis is of course no factor in my medical demise). I snap at everyone, I’m rude to colleagues I haven’t even met yet. As they say over here, I am in a right nark, and I blame it all on the fucking sun being a pussy and deciding it can just fuck off at 4:30 every afternoon leaving me crying in front of my computer screen, dreading my darkened commute home.
And the poor boyfriend is taking the brunt of it. Since the sun has abandoned me he can do no right in my eyes. His cough is too loud, his French accent too thick, his kisses too soft. 
In fact last night I told him if he continued to try to give me these soft little fairy kisses on my neck (and by fairy I mean really fucking gay) then I would have to punch him in the mouth and would be in no way responsible for any dental damage needed as I had given him fair warning.
Thankfully he took the hint, grew some balls and manhandled me to perfection. Can we just have a respectful moment of silence to the coquettish beauty of being lightly spanked by a man or woman you truly love and respect?
Mmmm, where was I? Right the sun. Or lack there of. My bitchiness…. come to think of it I feel much better. Perhaps a repeated helping of last night’s romp with the beau and I’ll get through this winter just fine.
Last 5 posts by Betty
Spank me, I’m a bitch
mmmmmm. manhandled.
almost WORTH the daylight savings, don’t you think?
I’m thinking of hibernating with him all next summer too…
Saturday spanking content. I love it.
Sigh… I really do think you girls are helping me out in the dating world and “handling” properly issues with my girl. I mean, you girls are so “counterintuitive” so to speak!!… He he he. But having insiders like you all. Mmh mmmh. Good times.
Anyway, been reading this blog for a while, just felt like posting a comment just now. Cheers and thanks for all the insights, laughs, and good wasted hours.
… And yes, daylight savings suck big time. I just moved to Canada from Mexico, and argh!… I miss that sun.
So do I Pauly, so do I.
And Hector, Hola! Glad you finally decided to speak up - and glad we could be of help. Because at the end of the day, if we can teach just one man how to treat (and by treat I mean fuck) a woman properly, then we can say we’ve done our jobs. Girlspoke: Helping you handle women right, one man at a time
He he he… Indeed.
And I am glad the boyfriend was so good at making all that work out. Sigh. Conflict resolution with a girl in “bitchy-mode” is one of the hardest, trickiest thing in the world. Heh.
Cheers!!!…
MMMMM spanking. So yummy..love your blog it is titilating
So true. The lack of sun is seriously messing with me… Where can I sign up for a helping or two of that lovely remedy you have discovered?
Get your butt over to England Danielle and I’ll spank you two ways from Sunday.
the seduction of a spank
repeated its sound is overcome by smell and scarlet sight
ow oohew!
the ears cannot be closed
and who would deny
a please, please! (she has her favorite crop, not unlike yours pictured but without the script to brand)
- my gfriend is coming to visit in a few weeks, i’m thinkinking of installing some bars, barber striped, parallel over the room, my question is about sound, the squeaky floor let’s the neighbor in on too much, must we both be hoisted in harnesses or what?
do tell
You do realise that daylight saving was invented over here in Blighty so we could all go to the pub an hour earlier. If anyone tells you any different, or mentions the war, don’t believe them!
I was always taught while growing up, that any ahem, “kissing” (especially on anywhere other than the cheek) should be strictly reserved for after the pub. The grease from your Fish and Chips has been through many years of intensive research and developement to ensure it works as an aid, not as a hinderence to love making. Particularly kissing, and oral sex.
PS. My first post. I love the site ladies, just don’t expect any girly stuff from me…..Grrrrr.
I live in Canada. It’s dark and it’s snowing. Fuck the world. I want serotonin!!! (Some ass would be nice too.)
All you ladies have to tell a guy to get him to manhandle you is:
Man the fuck up!
Works every single time no matter the situation.
Just be glad you don’t live in Murmansk, Betty. It is perpetually dark there for so many weeks every year that school timetables are built to include weekly vitamin D sessions. The kids all strip to their underpants, don anti-UV goggles and stand in front of UV lamps for half an hour. I shit you not.
Also, look on the encouraging side. The really miserable, cold, wet weather has not yet arrived over here (I played golf at dawn yesterday in a polo shirt, no jumper - glorious) and before you know it, it will be December 21st and we will start getting two minutes of daylight more every day after that. The countdown to British Summer Time will begin!