docuMENtary
Stamped: November 9th, 2005 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: secret crush of the week.
I'm a big fan of documentaries. Historical documentaries, crime documentaries, military documentaries, political documentaries, science and nature documentaries, social and cultural documentaries, travel and adventure documentaries. It's like porn for me. I nearly creamed my girlspoke panties watching the Elegant Universe with Brian Greene.
Then recently I rented the Weather series from Netflix. Holy moly, the weather never turned me on more. It was the host Donal McIntyre, oh Donal, Donal, Donal. When he got in that air chamber and his cheeks were flapping about against those 100mph winds, all I could think of was his face between my legs at furious speeds. 
Or when he was sitting alone in the little sailboat stuck in the doldrums, if I could've I would've airlifted myself there in that particular area around the earth centered slightly north of the equator between the two belts of trade winds while we waited for those winds to kick in. See I was listening, I actually learned something. Or when he braved temperatures below zero all naked and shit with those electrodes attached to his hot manly body, I felt a shiver travel down my spine and go boom downtown. All I could think was 'come here, I've got a warm place for you' , I was also thinking, 'keep going baby, don't stop', but that was when he was running a marathon in the Sahara. Oh unholy yumness.
And it's not just Donal. Without a doubt the hottest men on the planet are hosting 
documentary films. (Well, aside from Ken Burns, love his films but…not hot). All I need to do is turn on the Science Channel, dim the lights, pour myself a glass of wine and I'm good to go. In fact, I think it has come to the point that I can't get in the mood without a little docu-teasing and docu-tickling. So, when you come over do yourself a favor, leave Lawrence of a Labia at home and bring me Rivers and Tides by Thomas Riedelsheimer. In fact just leave the DVD under my door and come back later.
(I'm just hoping that either Donal or Thomas sees the links to their sites from girlspoke and leaves their phone number. Remember boys, you don't need to leave a public comment, you can contact me directly here. I'm available anytime. Really. Anytime. Even right now. In fact, if you just look like either of them and you have video camera, s'all cool)
Last 5 posts by Meme
- Mama don't Preach - May 18th, 2007
- You don't have to Fuck Me twice to get the point across - May 11th, 2007
- Update: Newsworthy? - May 4th, 2007
- Nipples, Pasties and Lesbians - April 27th, 2007
- Vagina! - April 20th, 2007
Ah, Meme, you are a woman after my own heart. I don’t think I am quite as sexually obsessed as you about documentary presenters (and I certainly haven’t made my one-eyed soldier cry whilst watching one) but I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiment.
Give me Miranda Krestovnikoff, Bettany Hughes or Kate Humble over your Page 3 bimbo any day. They are all Brits, so I don’t expect you or your fellow Americans to have heard of them, but by god, they melt my butter and boil my potatoes!
There’s something about intelligent women that is soooooo attractive. The thought of spending time with any of these girls in a room on our own makes my mind decidedly unhealthy.
Talk about mens sana in corpore sano… more like having a girl with a mens sana makes their corpore more sano!
Ah yes, we do have our charms. I look much foxier behind a camera.
Have you seen any of the docs in HD, high-definition? Feels even more like you’re there in the trenches with them, inside that volcano or alone on the remote beach of some lost island, up close and personal with the sweat beads on his brow…
Yeah, it’s sure to take you to another level of intimacy with your doc men. That is, just to hold you until they call, of course.
Speak to me in polysyllables! Use words Latin-rooted, with lots of suffixes and prefixes.
Talk of things geo-political, biographical, historical and geographical! Send me heavenwards and make it biometeorological!
Actually, I am obsessed with weather things, especially biometeorology, though I know precious little about it. But how weather affects people fascinates me.
It’s a cliché, but the brain really is the major sex organ. I ain’t no great intellect, and I’m not necessarily attracted to intellectuals (they’re often tedious), but I do like smart women, especially if their … um, métier? … is something I’m not familiar with. Then the sex is not only good, it’s educational too. For instance, I went with a museum curator once. Not only was the sex fun, I learned all about the history of Upper and Lower Canada and the War of 1812.
And she laughed at my jokes, too – a major plus.
I’m not gay or anything but I totally fell into a swoon over The Elegant Universe and Rivers & Tides is top of my Netflix queue.
you should have called this piece “cockumentary”.
or um…not.
anyways, i know how you feel: geoff thompson gets me all weak in the knees…ther’s something about journalists that go into war-torn areas and risk their lives to feed media to the masses that just gets me all hot and bothered….
*sigh*
is it because the last few years have brought so much acclaim to the world of docs? are you just being a star fucker here?
or did this sorta thing turn you on before March of the Penguins?
cockumentary…brilliant Lexie, simply brilliant.
fabe: you bet your effin ass I am…huh, what? can you really be a star fucker if no one knows the guy you’re fucking? and M of the Ps did nothing for me…voiceover narration, not hot.
Nerd show hosts can nail hot chicks? This is fantastic.
AJ -
uh, duh.
Whoa, Geoff Thompson is dishy! I’d watch Anderson Cooper do the farm report…
Geoff Thompson? The famous Australian fast bowler? Lexie will be pleased.
I love videos about trucks. And construction. And dirt.
Men and women sure are different.
Londoner - no, silly. the ABC journalist.
cricketers. blech.
Just yanking your chain Lexie, I know your position on cricketers!
okay, I can’t even finish reading your blog and I have to comment…I also creamed my panties while watching the elegant universe….I have the book to if you want to read it. In fact I read it the first time I went to NY…maybe that is why I slept with my doorman??