Stamped: November 16th, 2005 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: dating hijinks, neuroses, things i ♥.
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Presented in outline format:
1. You forgot to ask me out.
A. I ran into you on the train and I gave good conversation.
B. I invited you to yoga with the girls to which you declined.
C. I paused awkwardly after I said goodbye, allowing you the opportunity to awkwardly ask me out.
D. You did not.
2. You called me.
A. I called you back.
B. Then you called me.
C. Then I called you back.
D. AND THEN I NEVER HEARD FROM YOU AGAIN.
3. You told me the sex was hot,
A. but that you were thinking about getting back together with your ex.
B. The one who cheated on you in 3 different states.
4. You asked for the money you loaned me for the downpayment
A. Two weeks after we broke up
B. When I had to find a roommate.
C. Fast.
D. I paid you back
E. and went into debt.
5. You found me on my blog
A. You asked me out via email.
B. We went out on 3 hot dates.
C. You blogged about it.
D. Then we had hot sex.
E. And then you went out with another blogger.
F. I find out about it,
G. when I read her blog.
6. My sister set me up with you
A. We had a lot of fun.
B. I laughed so hard I snorted.
C. We made out at your house until the wee hours.
D. I had heard you were maybe conservative
E. But my sister forgot to tell me
F. that you voted for Bush.
G. Twice.
7. You did not leave a comment.
A. If you did, it did not make me laugh outloud and spew my latte all over the computer,
B. nor was it appropriately flirty enough to make me feel sexy.
Last 5 posts by Casey
Why I Hate You
But you don’t even know me! I’m not one to kiss and blog, either.
I can only imagine what the impetus was for writing this
I love non-traditional blog entries–you pulled this one off marvellously
No need for hating! Don’t hate the player, hate the game…unless you’re good at it, of course. And not being appropriately flirty should be punished by stoning. Lovin the HATRED shirt, you got it in XL?
Chris,
Stay tuned for my next, more traditional post, where I put up photos of my cat and blog about my IPod playlist and the latest installment of the OC.
And Albone,
Hatred comes in all sizes.
See? Women are so fucking easy to understand. We can totally be broken down into outline form! OUTLINE FORM, PEOPLE!
Hate who you want and love who you want. Just don’t hate too much, it can become overwhelming and burn you out.
I can put up with a lot of things from a potential date, but voting for Bush twice is a deal breaker.
“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…uh…won’t get fooled again.”
Ha! I do so love me some of that outline format.
Also, your response to Chris’ input made me laugh in a VERY boisterous manner. In fact, I just might quote you on that in an upcoming blog entry that I hope to write. If you’ve got any objection to having that quoted, just let me know. ^_^
Great post!
Would it help if I said I was sorry?
Great post.
T.A.B.,
It always helps when you say that…even when you have no idea for what you are apologizing.
Why is it that men don’t trust women because they were hurt by some bitch… but that bitch is the exact one they want to be with.
My, oh my, I felt like I was reading my dating story verbatim this last year.
Thanks for blogging about this and making me feel better, and that it’s not a “it’s just ME” kind of thing. This sort of effed up male-behavior occurs more than we think. Great post.
Yeah, about No. 1? We forget the basics sometimes. Just smack us in the head if we’re not paying attention.
Jenna: I hereby submit the following outline which details the way men think, in outline form:
Does it involve lesbians?
Yes - It is awesome. Period.
No - Could it?
Are boobs involved?
Yes - It is awesome. Period.
No - Could it?
Can I get laid from this?
Yes - I am awesome.
No - I am awesome, she is a bitch.
Sports!
Yes - Please, if necessary
Is alcohol involved?
Yes - Can I get laid from this?
No - Screw it, I’m getting laid.
That’s about it… the rest is just posturing… we’re not a terribly bright species…
- Brian
Ok Brian…first things first. The post was written by CASEY, not Jenna.
List Item #1 you call out the wrong name with any of my girlspoke girls and you’re out of the game…lesbians, boobs, sports, etc…you can pretty much kiss any chance you had goodbye.
Why I hate you back:
1. You assumed you were more awkward than me
2. You called me, I called you back, then you called me then I didn’t call back because the last woman I was out with gave me shit for being too needy
3. I told you the sex was hot but you said you had to get up early for a meeting with a client and where the hell did you put the file folder, did I see where?
Oh, we could go on.
Let’s face it, we were made to piss each other off. Yet like lemmings we keep going back to the cliff. Why? Because it’s all slapstick comedy.
Can #5 happen? Just doesn’t seem plausible. People use blogs to find DATES? Huh.
what can i say - in Internet Time, girls only have time for bullet-point lists.
Does that mean women are naturally attracted to Dave Winer?
Meme: I was referencing the post from Jenna above… I would never be so rude as to mix up the GS girls…
- Brian
# Jenna Says:
November 16th, 2005 at 5:08 pm
See? Women are so fucking easy to understand. We can totally be broken down into outline form! OUTLINE FORM, PEOPLE!
Nice post.
you know I was sitting here listening to music and I came upon this post. I just felt the urge to say I hate you. I hate all of you.
you know. this came up on google.
preach it.