How to Lose Gracefully
Stamped: December 6th, 2005 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: cry for help, internet stuff, what the...?™.
Lexie and I know that we shouldn't gauge our hotness by some internet poll. But losing the title of World's Hottest Urban Blogger to a blow-up doll has really done a number on our self-esteem.
But we know better. In fact, the hours we spend in front of our mirrors taking self-portraits and trying on old bridesmaid's dresses reinforces our true hotness.
lexie: did you get the last pic?
meme: which one?
lexie: pink taffeta…with the tiara.
meme: yeah…way hot!
meme: here's mine….
lexie: oh dude…totally fucking hot. love the big tulle bow.
See?
And just because we're hot, doesn't mean we don't have feelings. Quite the opposite, actually. Yesterday, after the news, I had to talk Lexie down after she had a near nervous breakdown:
lexie: what the FUCK happened? how the FUCK did we lose out to a bunch of people that aren't sexy and a kind-of-sexy blowup doll?
meme: hey, hey…it's okay. we can't gauge our hotness on Gridskipper. come on, Lex.
lexie: i mean, i understand the blowup doll. people are attracted to those dolls that have those pretty round holes. i mean, mouths…
meme: yeah, those other people…
lexie: am i ugly? too fat? GAH! what's WRONG with me?
meme: there's nothing wrong with you, darling. there's something wrong with the world.
If that weren't proof enough, we want you to know something about us that very few know. We're just like you, I mean everyday people, with everyday problems.
meme: woah, you won't believe what just happened
lexie: ???
meme: i was hanging pictures and i broke a sweat
lexie: you sweat?
meme: well, i think that's what it was
How many blow-up dolls do you know that sweat? And well, you heard it here first, sweaty is the new sexy.
We did our best to regain our composure and maintain our positive attitudes. I think we did well:
meme: you know what though…we're still up for World's Best Urban Sex Blog
lexie: that may actually work out better for us, in the long run - let's face it. "world's sluttiest blogger" is almost as good as "world's hottest blogger", you know?
meme: you are SO right. that's gotta up our chances of getting laid by at LEAST 37.692%, don't you think?
lexie: TOTALLY. dude, we're so hot.
So, kids, go vote for us for Best Urban Sex Blog over at Gridskipper, and vote for our boy Justin World's Hottest Urban Blogger and the ridiculous amount of other categories he's nominated in. Or else we'll turn this into a knitting blog and Justin will start posting pictures of his dog doing neat tricks.
Last 5 posts by Meme
- Mama don't Preach - May 18th, 2007
- You don't have to Fuck Me twice to get the point across - May 11th, 2007
- Update: Newsworthy? - May 4th, 2007
- Nipples, Pasties and Lesbians - April 27th, 2007
- Vagina! - April 20th, 2007
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— 8 December 2005 @ 5:37 pm
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Comments
There’s nobody who’d say fat and ugly. Desperate and alone, maybe. Sobriety-challenged, likely. Fat and ugly? No way, dude. We’d all hit it.
Cool Blog! I’m a girlie girl/sporty spice girl! lol
You have fun posts to read! I enjoyed my visit today!!!
I’ll go vote for you for sure
Ciao,
Fit_Girl
This is the BEST BLOG EVER.
Just so you know, I would never choose a blow up doll over you girls. I mean, they pop. And, um, you guys don’t.
Right?
I feel your pain girls…you know, since I wasn’t even NOMINATED!
I still don’t understand how this got so off topic: I really think the vote was for Best Urbane Text Blog.
And you definitely get mine.
I hope you lose, Meme!
http://www.blogebrity.com/blog/2005/12/who-is-peggy-archer.php
Aw, what am I saying! I’m just a little pissed at you. You are the fucking Best Urban Sex Blog. And you know how hot I am for you, Meme. I can’t hide it anymore. When do I finally get my chance?
But Justin? He’s a dog!
I think if Jenna would’ve been mentioned along with Lexie and Meme, you would’ve been harder to beat than a broken drum.
Also, I think if there were Lexie and Meme action figures, that would’ve added to the hawtness factor.
Wait, that can’t be right…anyways, you don’t need some popularity run poll to let you know that you are all the hot like lave. Dude.
This blog should just be Meme and Lexie having a conversation. I laugh my ass off every time.
I think you’re underestimating Franchesca. That picture was taken on a bad hair day. And she was bloated. So…there.
You guys totally should have won. What a sham. (Read: I can’t fucking believe I wasn’t nominated. I’m going to steal one of their cats and mail a paw back to them.)
If Lexie and Meme were action figures, they’d only be one step removed from a blow-up doll. Personally, I prefer my sex with live women, but you know how some people are…
PS-Jenna, all you would need is that picture from the last Horospoke posting, and you’d win, hands down.
Albone-
lave: v. to cleanse (one’s body) with soap and water
So “hot like lave” has gotta mean there’s a girl-on-girl shower scene coming up here any second now.
’cause that’s HAWT.
PSS (or is it PPS?)-Are you going to share those self-esteem boosting pictures, or just tease us with talk about tiaras and tulle bows?
BM - i think we should totally design a line of GS action figures.
that would totally kick ASS.
Dan: I meant to nominate you but I got distracted thinking about you after I installed my new pulsating shower massager.
Aww, it’s like It’s a Wonderful Life - I don’t win, but I really DO win.
literally or figuratively?
You had my vote.
You may not have one some stupid award for hottest bloggers by some stupid website but think of it this way, this was just the sag awards. When it comes time for the big show you ladies will definitely take home the oscars.
I’ll even throw the best post award show orgy with you two… uh, err, I mean party. Yeah, the best post award show party.
Ah, who am I kidding, I did mean orgy ;^)
And of course by saying “you may not have one some…” I meant “you may not have won…”
Damn beer. Always messing up my spelling. Good thing it’s 9am, now I can switch to shots.
BM: both.
Mikey: you’re so right. noone gives a SHIT about the damn SAG awards.
i was thinking of having an um..dry run…for that post award show party in about an hour. yeah. you in?
Hell’s yeah I’m in.
You guys do excellent mimics of Absolutely Fabolous