Stamped: January 3rd, 2006 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: body parts, complaint dept., cry for help, friends and losers, underwear.
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Last night I dreamt that I was getting married and my sister decided to throw me a party. The only people at this party were all my ex-boyfriends. Did I say dream? I meant nightmare. When I confronted my sister about her choice of guestlist she explained that perhaps inviting all my ex's would reinforce how much better off I was marrying this guy. In fact, I have no idea who I was marrying because he wasn't even invited to this party.
Dreams suck.
So you can imagine my surprise when I had a lesbo-esque dream the other night. I know what you're thinking, "Hot, do tell." Well, even my lesbian dreams suck. You'd think getting some hot young gal in a motel room would be an out-of-control, panties-flying-off, boobies-banging kind of dream but no, not me. My twisted little mind had to warp it into a friendly quest for riches. I present the following conversation via instant messanger with my personal relationship advisor where we try to dissect the inner workings of my brain:
Meme: I had a lesbo dream last night
Dude: about who?
Meme: no one in particular…but I was a redhead
Dude: heh
Meme: and I picked up a chick and took her to a motel
Meme: when we got there
Meme: instead of fooling around I pulled out some lottery scratchers
Meme: and we laid on the bed scratching them
Dude: what does it all mean?
Meme: I dont know?
Dude: I know what it means
Meme: tell me
Meme: please
Dude: you're just scratching the surface of your obsession with being BI
Meme: hahahahaha
Meme: right
Dude: that's what it means
Dude: you want to explore it
Dude: see what's below the surface with another girl
Meme: what about my aversion to pussy?
Dude: aversion?
Dude: how can you have an aversion to pussy?
Meme: I only like mine
Dude: you'll get over it, i think
Meme: hmmm
Meme: and boobs…no no no, they just get in the way
Dude: man
Dude: you're just saying all that
Dude: go with your true feelings, M
Dude: it'll be ok
Dude: no one will judge
Meme: hmmmm
Dude: and would you mind videotaping it?
Last 5 posts by Meme
Scratching the Surface
Can’t wait for the videocast. Don’t suppress those feelings Meme.
Does this advisor of yours, charge?
This dream is simple. The meaning truly is as clear as Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. The fact that you overlooked the meaning is just silly. So now that I’ve got you curious let me say it as plain as day:
Everyone has their price. The lottery tickets illustrate your desire to become wealthy without doing any work whatsoever (that’s called the American Dream). The fact that it was a woman as opposed to a male means that if you found someone who didn’t fit your normal life style…you might still be willing to bend your original ideas and notions for personal gain or profit.
No one can blame you for this. Certainly not I. I am the king of bending my standards just for personal gain. Sometimes we got to lower our standards when we’re too drunk to drive ourselves home or operate a phone and say “dude if you don’t come get me I might sleep a girl who is going to be a lot uglier in the morning.”
Pauly, you don’t want to know. I think my contract said something about relinquishing possession of my soul in lieu of payment. And something about all rights to videos.
uh Ryan, you’re freaking me out man.
There must be something going on in the cosmos. I also had a dream about my ex - what happened escapes me now, but all I remember is that I was not happy when I woke up…
Meme - I hear that so much that it’s lost all meaning. Anymore, hearing of it is kind of a turn on…just like pepper spray.
Grad…didn’t you read Jenna’s HoroSpoke…the stars are completely mis-aligned.
Ryan…geez, I said I was sorry, I thought it was silly string.
It’s always good to keep an open mind…
Fire your advisor. He’s clearly not a Jesuit. For those of us with Roman Catholic upbringings, this all makes perfect sense. An aversion to pussy and/or boobs is perfectly normal. That’s why we must be punished, constantly, by more and more of them. The more you get, the more sinfullness will be flushed out of you.
By the way, why won’t the laundry take pets?