Stamped: February 22nd, 2006 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: friends and losers, lists.
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Ah, humpday!
Today I'd like to start a new wednesday tradition. I don't know if I'll keep up with it but damn if I'm not gonna try. Starting today I will highlight the best of the, well, rest I guess. The best that is not me. You know, the good stuff on other websites. Sounds crazy, but there is a ton of good stuff out there. So then shut your whining, here ya go.
I'm not sure what bothers me more about this contract: the font or the egregious spelling and grammatical errors. Maybe it's the stipulation: "All applications of lube to myself, you, or any object, will be done by you."
What? He can't squeeze a tube? [The Smoking Gun]
It's not the best time in the history of the world to be a people hater. [Wired]
If the idea of watching The Bachelor makes you want to pierce your eyeballs with Bic Pens then let this lass give you the run down. [nothing but bonfires]
Bring out the Macgyver in all of you. "With just a few office supplies that you were gonna steal anyway, you can construct your own weapons of mass destruction." [The Man Blog]
"Women who like banana-nut bread enjoy romantic and sexual fantasies…" Is that because of the bananas? Or the nuts? [NY Post]
I can't believe I didn't write this: "How to give Oral Sex to Bloggers in Return for PR Favors" [Jeremy Zawodny's blog]
Last 5 posts by Meme
Humpday Handouts
Pingback by College Happenings — Sick Marriage Contract
— 23 February 2006 @ 12:00 pm
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— 10 March 2006 @ 3:12 am
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— 11 March 2006 @ 7:54 am
Comments
I should have known better after seeing that swine-face than to proceed, but I did. I couldn’t finish reading The Contract … I just couldn’t.
That contract is just sick, sick, sick. Oh my god. My favorite part (aside from the fancy fonts he uses for each heading, WTF?) is “all skirts are to be no lower than 2 inches below the knee — unless it’s for church.”
Hang on — FOR CHURCH? You can be a sick, murderous, kidnapping, child-porno-loving fuck and give your wife a contract of wifely duties which include “always being naked 20 minutes after the kids are in bed” and “always wearing thong panties” and then…..you also go to CHURCH? Isn’t that sort of laughable? Sort of, oh, hypocritical? And I’m not an expert on the 10 commandments or anything but doesn’t this sort of violate EVERY ONE?
Wow. Thanks for the link by the way!
That contract is EVERYWHERE! I am just as amused the second time reading it….
But let’s talk about the nasty fingernails of the office guns model. Ick!
Two Bananaman references, the photo and the food book. Well said!
I am feeling so sick after reading only one page of that “marriage contract”. Literally nauseous. Sick. En. Ning.