The Girlspoke Pillow Fight™, April 2006
Stamped: April 5th, 2006 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: Pillow Fight™.
Welcome ladies and the other people who read this site to this month's installment of The Girlspoke Pillow Fight™. This time around we decided to explore our oft-not-spoken-of-crushes on not-so-crushed-on guys, aka quirky dudes. Come on, admit it, you know you harbor similar feelings for some of those D-list-not-so-typical-your-friends-would-totally-laugh-at-you types. We're here to say it's ok…ok, to make fun of each other.
Molly: Keilbasa sausage, your butt cheeks and him.
Mona: There's some thing about a man with sharp eyebrows. Some thing that says "I will ravish you, tie you to the train tracks, and explain my devious plot to you while you writhe and scream. You will be rescued by a clean faced hero but it is the arch of my brow and the sound of incoming trains that will keep you up at night."
Casey: What, and you will practice raising eyebrows at one another all night?!
Jenna: Slap that belly, Meme! Slap it!
Lo: I dunno about the ravishing thing Mona. I think he just would take you out for slurpies and tell fart jokes. Oh and his O-face would scare the shit out of me I'm sure.
Betty: I almost went out with his twin. And by "went out" I mean shagged in a dark corner of a bar.
Meme: Do me a favor Betty and give my number to the "twin", ok?
Jenna: If you change your number to like 555-COKE or 900-LUV-FOOD, you're chances of getting a call will increase exponentially, I'm sure.
Lo: yum. I'm with ya on this one.
Molly: Listen, uh, I don't want to say anything, but are we sure that he's legal?
Mona: He's totally the guy who you "counsel" on his lack of sexual self esteem, walks you home to make sure you get home safely, and then seduces by pressing your body against your front door so hard, you have the wood grain engraved in your back for days.
Meme: Holy crap, I totally thought this was the guy from Parker Lewis Can't Lose
Jenna: Oh, Meme. You're showing your age again. And he's so legal. He better watch out…if he gets within grabbing distance, who knows what might happen. Actually, I know exactly what would happen. Nevermind.
Meme: My feelings for JG diminished greatly after that whole fly debaucle.
Jenna: There's no way you can like Jeff without also being into S&M. They go hand in hand.
Lo: Ain't nothin wrong with that Jenna. Besides he'd give you a good excuse to break out your cat o'nine tails.
Betty: Speaking of hands Jenna…I don't think I've ever seen a pair that big. Mmmmm. The fly.
Casey: Egggs-actly, Betty. I could also listen to his stammering, neurosis-tinged voice forever! Sigh.
Meme: Um yeah, the stammering thing…I'd probably end up slapping him, repeatedly.
Jenna: Ohh, I hadn't thought of the stammering. Well, as long as you keep him quiet…there's something in your S&M bag to cover that, right?
Molly: This is all well and good…until he learns that you have a 13-year-old sister. Then, all bets are off.
Meme: Is it the tie that turns you on or the big forehead thing?
Jenna: Ick. I'm with you Meme. I'm pretty sure you want big HANDS, Lo, not big FOREHEAD.
Lo: swoon. Ladies, have you not seen the west wing?!? for shame. Power=Hot, Cutting Wit = Sexy. Oh, and that would be the sound of my pants hitting the floor.
Mona: I got Lo's back, but for me it's the receding 'fro and the backpack.
Jenna: Hahaha. I can see it now, "You're everything I want in a woman, Lo. I prefer them to be pantless."
Betty: See, I just see that creepy weasil guy from Billy Madison. And I'd take Adam Sandler over him in a heartbeat.
Jenna: I think he only likes the older hags, Mona. Try popping out a kid or two first.
Lo: Yeah, the whole baby-faced thing doesn't do it for me. He's about as sexual as a gummy bear.
Casey: I'm with you here honey on this one…they gotta make me laugh. But I think I'll take my DA circa 1975-1979.
Meme: Yeah, what's with the 'I just got out of rehab' picture?
Jenna: I can't see this one at all. He's like old. Think about it. The wrinkles. You know. EVERYWHERE.
Betty: Like a fine wine Jenna, a fine super old wine. And yes Casey, this crush is more based on seeing the Ghostbusters scene where some ghost is zipping down his fly at age 11(me, not him). I think that's when I knew I'd be a rampant sexual deviant.
Jenna: Umm, is that the Tuesday's With Morrie dude? You like softies!?
Lo: Well at least you can boss them around, that could be kinda hot. Kinda.
Mona: Do you know how many voices he does on the Simpsons? If his tongue can pull off those dialectical tricks…
Betty: Good call Mona, just imagine the intricate dirty talk you could have with this guy.
Mona: For reals. Phone sex with this man would be like being in the middle of a fluidly choreographed orgy but without all the mystery fluids.
Casey: First of all where is Jon Stewart on this list…or is that too obvious? Secondly, what is this man hiding with his hand? A razor blade? A bottle of Rogaine? Amyl nitrate?
Meme: Would you define Jon Stewart as "quirky"? Lickalicious, yes…quirky, no.
Jenna: Oh God, Mona. Fluids?! Gak.
Last 5 posts by girlspoke staff
- Show us some love - February 14th, 2007
- Meme at Vibrator.com - February 7th, 2007
- Come see our show - January 17th, 2007
- Gobble gobble gobble, burp - November 23rd, 2006
- Listed - November 17th, 2006
dood i love george.
Hey, what about me?