Stamped: April 7th, 2006 | Toggle Similar
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Dear Mona,

I've been seeing this guy on and off for about six weeks, who I have amazing sexual chemistry with. The first four times we got together it was phenomenal naked playtime. Then I got surly one night and told him that I didn't want our get-togethers to be just about sex because as well as making me cum, he also makes me laugh incessantly. Now we get together outside my bedroom, but he won't go home with me afterwards. He reminds me of my drunken mandate while I'm begging for a sticking. I totally recognize that he's being a sweetheart, but how can I get us to a point where we can “date” formally and still have evenings devoted to crazy wombat sex?

Signed,

Hard-up Yet Strangely Happy

Dear Double H,

I think there must be some connection between this situation and the weather. During winter’s last snap, people were hitting it casually all around me. A couple weeks and some sunshine later, they’re digging around their night stands for the lost phone numbers. Maybe it’s the pressure to get maximum mileage out of shaving our legs for spring skirts or simply wanting a companion for wilderness randy-ness, but there seems to be a movement towards reverse dating on the streets.

I take this not as a sign that the world has gotten more romantic but that the one night stand rules continue to get fuzzier as I get older. This does not make me happy.

My first suggestion is that you need to try as hard as you can to let him come to you. While begging for a conjugal visit will initially boost the guy’s personal morale and it is possible that it will lead you to getting what you want from him, the act will have the slight stench of pity sex. You know he likes fucking you. He keeps asking you out. Relax.

Use this as an opportunity to drive him insane. You won’t get this time period back so you might as well roll around it for a short while. If you’re already starting to play girlfriend, play it upstyle. Remember how he squirmed when you traced the outside of his ear while unbuckling his belt? Do it during an innocent goodbye kiss. Do it when you’re chatting about the upcoming baseball predictions. Do it while you’re pressing yourself firmly against his pelvis. Then get into your car and leave him alone on the sidewalk.

Absence can make the dick grow harder.

At some point, he will throw you over his shoulder, the wait will be over, and by that time you guys will be comfortable enough with one another to upgrade to crazy badger loving.

If you need a little motivational gas to help you tap that ass, email your situation to

Last 5 posts by Mona

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