Stamped: April 18th, 2006 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: friends and losers, unfunny.

Talking about NUW brought back some memories…

I remember going to see a comedian back in college. She was a comedian with an agenda. Much of her dialogue focused on getting women to be more comfortable with their sexuality. My memory of her set is hazy at best, and I recall primarily being glad that I’d only paid $5 to see her and that we were still going to catch a party afterwards.

The other memory was her commentary of genital recognition. She’d drawn the suggestion that if a man were in a room full of penises, he’d be able to select his own bits and pieces from that group. Women, on the other hand, would have trouble finding theirs.

This brought to mind three things.

1. I’m glad our genitalia is attached at all times. Sorting through random va-jay-jays and johnsons at the local Lost & Found after a hard night of drinking would be terribly traumatic, I’d imagine. I mean, you’ve heard that Detachable Penis song and the saga involved in retrieving a lost one, right? That’d be a bitch and a half.

2. We can’t exactly SEE our region. Maybe if it were situated a bit higher, I’d even have a name for it, but I can’t and, well, I don’t. The men folk certainly have lots of visual assistance in getting to know theirs.

3. This has absolutely nothing to do with my sexuality, and I am kind of grossed out at the thought of this woman lying in bed with a mirror.

But I do think the topic is important. Women need to be comfortable with sex. How can we make up for our other inequalities if we don’t capitalize on our knack for multiple orgasms? Besides, lack of sexual confidence is facilitating approximately 500% of our gender-based issues, in my totally qualified, highly professional, and unbiased opinion.

But let’s not declare a day of clitoral celebration during which we dance around in crotchless panties and high five each other’s poonannies.

Here is my point. Girls are so fucking sexy. Scientifically speaking, we have the upper hand. There’s a reason why the male species of the animal kingdom is usually prettier to look at. It’s the guy that holds the burden of attracting the girl.

Without even trying, science just makes it happen. But when insecurities, feminine warfare, and other social activities enter the scene, we sabotage our sexual (and emotional) happiness. As the spring weather triggers our pheromones, finding a suitable mate will become a priority. The smartest way to do this is to get back to our biological roots, ladies.

For those of you shaking your head in agreement, try to look out for your fellow sister by boycotting naval jewelry and high-heeled flip-flops. For those of you rolling your eyes and reapplying your lip gloss with that Breakfast Club trick you do with your boobs as you type your bitter comments, I’m talking to you. Overcompensation is tacky at best, and you wouldn’t want that branding, would you?

Last 5 posts by Jenna

• peace out, my lovlies - June 8th, 2007
• bringing sexy back - May 28th, 2007
• I'm no James Woods - May 21st, 2007
• fellow commuters: grunt! - May 14th, 2007
• No, no I don't. - May 7th, 2007