Stamped: May 31st, 2006 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: cry for help, food, just plain stupid.

It is starting to get HOT over here on the east coast. I am sitting here in my apartment, clothes virtually melting off, sipping an ice-cold beer, wondering how the fuck to compensate for my 85 year-old, inefficient air conditioner. And my complex's communal pool is simply out of the question. You know what kids do in those things.
So, I'm left to my own devices and hoping that maybe you can help me out. Nothing seems to work. Look, these are some of the techniques I've tried thus far:

Being the sweet-tooth girl I am, I started with the ice cream. This only gave me some temporary satisfaction though; before long I was still hot and now sticky.

This time I ventured again to the freezer, but pulled out my ice cube trays instead. If I just suck on them, my jaw starts to hurt. Thinking I was doing something wrong, I put a few in a bowl and sat on them. This was actually quite nice, but immediately started getting me hot in other ways.

Eventually, I opted to let them melt against my neck, but this just got me all wet. My shirt, that is. Soon, it was on to the next trick…

The classic cold shower! Certainly this would cool me off enough to remove the sweat from my fingertips.

Well, as you can see, I have some unique showering systems installed at my apartment. Let's just say that this also left me more hot and bothered than anything else. I was quickly running out of ideas. I had only one thought left, and that was only something I'd heard from a friend of a friend; you know the deal. But I was desperate. I could taste the sweat on my lips, feel in running down my chest.

So I went to my purse and pulled out some mints.

Of course, it was too late before I realized that they were cinnamon. I had a mouthful, and this girl was taught that it's just plain rude to spit. So, I sucked and, eventually, swallowed that hot mouthful of candy.

And now, I'm still sitting here. Totally hot and completely bothered that I just can't seem to cool down.

PS If you're looking for the site I talked about this morning on Playboy Radio, it is www.tellyoursexstory.com.  The boys were mispronouncing it at times, but who could blame them when they had me on the phone talking about wet cunts?

Last 5 posts by Jenna

• peace out, my lovlies - June 8th, 2007
• bringing sexy back - May 28th, 2007
• I'm no James Woods - May 21st, 2007
• fellow commuters: grunt! - May 14th, 2007
• No, no I don't. - May 7th, 2007