Playin’ Hookie
Stamped: June 12th, 2006 | Toggle Similar
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I called in sick to work today. I honestly can't remember the last time I used a sick day to actually remain home, you know, sick. And call me callous, but I typically look down upon the pussies that can't ball up enough to save those days for something that really matters.
Which brings me to my point. This whole calling-in bit was impulsive and I'm not quite sure what to do with myself. Well, I mean, impulsive as far as the fact that I was pretty sure that if I did show up to work today, I'd enter into physical combat with a short bald, goateed, sexist man that happens to be a co-worker of mine. Fucktard. But enough of him. This is my day for adventure. Ohh, say it with me…adventure!
So, what shall it be? I've come up with the following options. It'd be swell if you could help me decide. Hell…if it works out nicely, maybe I'll share the details of the day with you next week. And if it goes very nicely, I'll even throw in some photos.
1. Tempt my fate (like that's even in question anymore!) and vandalize the church billboards in my sourrouding area. I'll probably dress up as a nun while I do so.
2. Hit up Victoria's Secret to get officially measured by some college chick who's home for the summer. I will refer to my boobs as my titties, very loudly and as often as possible. When she tells me I'm only a B cup, I will react with a dramatic monlogue that progresses from disbelief to anger to sadness. In the end, I will call her out for being a temp and declare that she obviously does not know who I am. This adventure's success will be measured by my ability to evoke tears, a cat fight, or an apology for her inability to properly measure such spectacular titties.
3. Pay a visit to my neighborhood stripclub. Upon my early arrival, I will convince the bouncer that I'm subbing for the typical DJ. My iPod, random wires, and make-shift business card in tow, I will set up shop in a shady corner and get to work. Once the ladies start working that pole, my mission will be to play as much easy listening before getting kicked out. The trifecta of man bitches, Phil Collins, Kenny G, and Michael Bolton are all worth triple points. Borderline artists to help my transition *such as Jewel, The Band, and possibly some early Beatles) get the lowest score.
4. Show up at the workplace of Meme, Lo, & Heather unbeknownst to them. When they take a break for the restroom, I will be quietly hiding in the stall. When I hear the paper towel dispenser and the rustle of the subsequent toss in the garbage can, I will sneek out from my clandestine spot and scurry behind each girl, in turn. My clothes will be disheveled and when we're within earshot of her co-workers, I'll clear my throat and let out a giggle. When I get the anticipated surprise greeting from the girls, I'll say just loud enough for others to hear, "Oh, I just love it when you play all innocent you sexy bitch," and then wipe something imaginary from the corner of her mouth. I'll tug on my shirt and cooly walk away. Success will be rated by how pissed or aroused I am able to get my girlfriends.
Last 5 posts by Jenna
- peace out, my lovlies - June 8th, 2007
- bringing sexy back - May 28th, 2007
- I'm no James Woods - May 21st, 2007
- fellow commuters: grunt! - May 14th, 2007
- No, no I don't. - May 7th, 2007
Jenna, as a loyal reader of yours, I have to say that option #2 has the most potential to satisfy that impulsive nature of yours. Victoria’s Secret, Daytime, College temp….all ingredients for some serious debauchery.
Any chance you could stop by my office in midtown while you’re playing hooker.. er.. hookie..
THey are all great ideas…I need to call out soon, I think.
#2 makes the Baby Jebus cry.
#3 makes me cry with laughter.
#1 is just truth in advertising.
Probably too late, but #1 or #2.
You Girlspoke you be big hit, according to Hindustantimes dot com, you Girlspoke are a role model for every girl who ever spoke or typed a blog post or stuff like that.
[QUOTE]
Smart new kids on the block. Fashion blogs.
There’s something to be said about looking like a magazine rather than a website - specially when it comes to fashion marketing.
That’s what Glam.com glam has managed to do by developing “custom software” after more than 18 months of hard work.
It allows “print-experienced editors and layout people to apply their design skills to Web pages,” as Frank Barnako explains in his June 1, post. Their shrewd business plan has got them going places.
As Samir Arora, MD, put it while explaining why Cosmopolitan tied up with Glam.com: Cosmo “saw us as an interesting company because we had the brand. We had the advertisers. We had a voice, and we had the editorial appearance that everyone aspired to.” barnakocom.
They also have a sister site with a clutch of fashion blogs blogs.glam taking inspiration from girlspoke and fashiontribes.
[END QUOTE]
The post links to Girlspoke and fashiontribes.
Just thought you’d like to know. I’m so jejune, I think I’ll make this the basis of a post at Vaspers blog.
Remember: “blog” ends with “og” as in “ugh”.
I must say any college temp who says you have only a B-cup must be in withdrawl from all the drugs at school.