Stamped: June 19th, 2006 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: around town, body parts, dating hijinks, internet stuff, what the...?™.

Interaction is the foundation of a healthy…well…anything. Relationship? Check. Social networking? Check. Now, how about meat-market hunting? Oh yes, we've got that too. Girls, gay boys: I'm talking to you. The messiah has spoken.

What you are about to see is a lovely, interactive map of NYC pinpointing the location of all the single men! I mean, fucking Hallelujah, right?! But, wait, it gets better. I guess I should let you see it first. But I'll warn you; you're going to want to stare. I sure as hell did…along with copious note-taking, Mapquesting and Google stalking. Click here and oggle for a while, but come back so I can show you how to use this tool efficiently. Go ahead. I'll wait.

Did you notice that the dark red (think blood, meat, etc) is the highest concentration of eligible bachelors? Of course you did! They've virtually taken over lower Manhattan! You could throw a thong and lasso at least 4-8 single lads. Even for those of you in hipster Brooklyn or King of Queens, you've still got a 1 in 10 chance of randomly picking up a single dude.

Now let's mosey on over to the side-bar-o-fun and start clicking some of those buttons. Let's see…we've got, wait…FEMA Flood Areas? That's kind of strange, but maybe you're into that whole woman-to-the-rescue thing. House addresses, in case you want to find out just how beneficial it is to go hang out in Meme's neighborhood for the weekend, Landmarks…um, in case you're a fucking tool. And let's just skip to my favorite…Toxic Sites!

Not only can you find an aread for some serious cock hunting, but you can also leave your Geiger Meter at home when you're ready for play time! Go ahead and click on that box…and, well, shit. All that blue means that most of our great city is damaged goods.

I'd walk you through the rest of it, but I think you get the picture. I mean, virtually all of the coastline is FEMA territory and–for the life of me–I cannot get the average income function to operate. But, then again, if in the midst of all that radioactivity you've managed to score yourself a non-toxic, non-waterlogged single dude in Manhattan, you should just leave well enough alone. Who cares if he's temporarily unemployed? At least he won't give you cancer.

Last 5 posts by Jenna

• peace out, my lovlies - June 8th, 2007
• bringing sexy back - May 28th, 2007
• I'm no James Woods - May 21st, 2007
• fellow commuters: grunt! - May 14th, 2007
• No, no I don't. - May 7th, 2007