Stamped: June 30th, 2006 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: complaint dept., rant, things i ♥.
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I am sure you will all be happy to know, I have moved from the multiple-partner dating stage to the monogamous dating-one-person stage. Not yet boyfriend and girlfriend and no sign of the L word in sight, we are still having great sex, going out and doing fun things, and getting drunk together without either one of us picking any fights. All in all I have to say, things are going well. I don't yet know how to push his buttons and I'm not looking too hard for anything to hate. It's that perfect middle ground and as long as I don't dwell too much on I hope he likes me as much as I like him, I can't complain.
Except for one thing.
The toilet seat. I know, I know, it's an age-old argument. And one left better to the dorm room. But friends, I am dating a man who leaves the toilet seat up. And I don't quite know what to do about it.
There are many qualities this particular man has that I truly appreciate. He is a real MacGyver. He can make a boat out of twigs, a radio out of dead batteries, and, most importantly, he can fix a flat tire, as was proved just last week. The man is handy and I suppose there are other, more rustic characteristics that go along with this. His wardrobe is limited, he's not much of a gusher, and let's just say his idea of dessert is a well-placed cigarette. But need a shelf put up? Want to gerry rig your IPod in your car that has no stereo? Your vibrator suddenly die even though you just put in fresh batteries? He's your man. I mean, my man.
But the toilet seat?! This is by no means a deal breaker. Not yet in any case. I just don't know exactly how to broach the subject. And to be honest, it's been a decade or so since I've even had to. I just don't believe that at our age, he hasn't yet learned the skill of putting the seat down. Perhaps he has his own post-collegiate ERA arguement about why he should be able to leave it up. Perhaps it is a warning sign about the perennial bachelor that he is. Perhaps, perhaps. But truth be told, I am afraid to ask. I am afraid of what his reasoning might be. And afraid it will reveal some unbearable truth about him that will, in fact, be the deal breaker of all deal breakers. Besides the fact that it provides its own host of problems. What if I have to pee in the middle of the night and I accidentally fall in? What if my mom comes over and she falls into the toilet. What if we have children and one of our children turns out to be a son and god forbid, he learns to leave the seat up? What then? I will have failed as a mother, as a wife and as the woman-who-will-take-no-shit girlspoker that I am.
So to you, dear readers, I beseech you. Is this the price I pay for a real man—perhaps my own Prince Charming—who can fix just about anything, grow his own vegetables, owns a small sailboat, happens to be an excellent chef and is good in bed? Or should I grow some cohones and just confront him?
Last 5 posts by Casey
A debate yet to be debated
Casey, this is such less of a deal than you’re making of it. just lean over and tell me, “hey John, can you put the seat back down when you’re done”. If it really becomes a deal breaker, it was hollow anyway.
jr
John, you’re a guy. You should know it takes more than a few reminders to be civilized for some men to “get it.”
Casey, I think you should roll over one morning and tell him, “Guess what happened to me last night?” And then reveal that you did, in fact, fall into the toilet because the seat was up. Then, you can both laugh and it’s the perfect time to be, “sooo, you think you could do something about that?” And then have great sex.
As long as he flushes. He flushes, right?
Jenna, if Casey chooses your way to tell me, i guess that would be ok too. I am a seat putter downer, just based on a simple request years ago. But, I’m willing to come up to NY and offer my services of not putting it down if Casey or any girlspoke member needs to practice their request technique.
jr
thanks for the offer John!
Most guys dont even think about it. Its not an active decision, if we see it down and need to move it up we do, and i guess we assume that anyone who needs it down (like a guy taking a crap/looking for reading time, or a woman) will just put it down.
Does anyone really fall into a toilet? Im being serious, ive dated a bunch of women and have many as friends and i have never heard a story of a woman falling in bc she had to go so bad in the dark one night that she forgot to check the seat.
Either way, im with Jenna, if my gf ever said she fell in i would remember for life. Being lazy is one thing, subjecting someone to the possibility of falling into the shitter is another..
My thoughts are these - he doesn’t complain when you leave the toilet seat down, does he? Besides, you shouldn’t be holding anything in long enough that you can’t take the second to drop the seat down anyway.
It’s just not healthy.
Claudia, do you live with a man? Do you see what that under-the-seat part of the toilet looks like?
Claudia, We’re talking middle of the night. We’re talking not fully awake. We’re talking about a woman who also is used to the toilet seat being down.
Some time ago, I thouroughly researched and analyzed the toilet seat issue. Naturally, I didn’t want to waste the …
Ok, that’s b.s.! But I did write about it if you’re interested: Male-Female Brain Differences
The only fair solution I’ve come up with is both sexes put the seat down AND close the lid. Added bonus: No accidentally knocking your toothbrush or hair dryer in the toilet.
Oh for Gods sake just tell him. But know that if he was likely to have this habit broken he would have already. So decide early on are you going to have a relationship where you tell him “what’s up” or not? If you’re already stroing it up it won’t end pretty.
What if the seat is down and he goes to pee in the middle of the night and his aim is bad?
Think about it.
Being a female person that fell into a toilet very recently (and NO i wasn’t drunk!) i say get the fucker a porta-potty so he can do whatever he wants…in the driveway.
spank me meme.
jr
Just train him to pee whilst sitting. Then, the underside of the toilet seat never looks nasty.
If you’re going to request that he put down the seat, also be sure to tell him to wipe off the rim after doing his business. Cleaning the slashback in real time makes bathroom cleaning a snap. Something my Mom taught me.
I don’t see what the big deal is with the toilet anyway, I have no problems with it being up the only problem I have is when the lid is down. That pisses me off and I’m not sure why.
jr…it would be an honor, now bend over
Definitely confront him about it, but in passing. As long as he’s flushing, it’s not that big of a deal, and eventually he’ll catch on.
Or you could resort to what the girls in our house do when one of our manfriends leaves the seat up…leave a passive-aggressive post it note
Ah, this sounds like the age old woman’s complaint … “I want a bad boy who isn’t bad around me,” “I want a rugged, manly cowboy who is well-mannered and sensitive except when I don’t want him to be,” “I want a Democrat except when I want him to be a Republican …”
You can’t have it both ways. Not in this world. Decide what ya want. Have you considered installing a urinal?
It’s soooo not a big deal, comparatively. I am ohsojealous of your own personal Superman (minus cape and silly tights, of course!) Mine puts the seat down, but can’t hang a picture. I do, however, get plenty of dessert!
The toilet seat issue will be solved with minor reminders. And you can always take him shopping for more clothes. But a lack of ice cream? That’s a crisis!