Stamped: July 12th, 2006 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: cry for help, internet stuff, just plain stupid, marketing.

So, recently Jenna forwarded me a website to check out. It made me think twice. I never know how to read her, she's a puzzle. I mean, does she really like prancing around in the girlspoke boyshorts, or does she do it for me? Is she a really that much into tantric yoga or is all for show? I don't know. So when she sent me this dating site for snagging a rich dude I wondered if she had already signed up, wanted me to sign up or owned the company. I hesitate to even link the URL, but I figure there may be some of our readers out there with genuine interest in it, cause we all know all the dudes who read girlspoke are are filthy fucking rich, so here it is. I know you're just itching to sign up, but wait. What the fuck? The men have to verify their income? What about the women? Oh right, rich men don't want to to marry rich women, and po' women all want to marry a rich man.

Hold on a sec while I pierce my eyeballs with ball-point pens.

First of all, let's talk about rich women. And let's make some wild generalizations. For a women to make over 75k a year on her own she's gotta have a masters degree, and therefore is a smarty pants, and probably super-high expectations, i.e. high maintenance…right?

Now let's talk about not so rich women. They all want/need/gotta get them a rich man, right? Cause they're all a bunch of lazy bitches that just keep up the good looks until they snag their man, right? Birth him a baby and you're set for life.

Well, here's what I'm thinking. Imagine if you will some cocaine manufacturing business is busted up in Columbia. How long do you think it will take for another cocaine business to crop up and take it's place. Probably a matter of days? It's clearly just an issue of supply and demand. Are you following me? So these "gold-diggers", as they are called, are simply filling a demand. I mean why don't rich dudes marry rich chicks and maximize their earnings…makes perfect financial sense to me. What's even more interesting is that everytime I have dated someone who made less money than I has ALWAYS had an issue with it. What up dudes?

Here's my dream…I meet a man who's like some kinda artist/writer/contortionist and I work at my crazy corporate high-income job. He stays at home. We make make babies. He stays at home. I work my way up to president of the company. He's raising the babies doing his little art thing. I do a hostile take over of the company. He cooks me awesome mac n cheese for dinner when I get home from "the office" at 2am (actually I'm fooling around with the hot young guy on marketing who wants a raise).

Where's my website to find that guy?

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