Vagtestines
Stamped: July 25th, 2006 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: all things hot, body parts, gmail, hot sex, just plain stupid.
Last night on the G-Chat with my friend "greg" …
me: try HARDER
dammit
what do i write about for girlspoke romorrow?
tomorrow
greg: haha
me: what do girls want to know
greg: i just got HARDER
me: uh
on account of what?
greg: sorry, im an idiot
i phrased that sentence poorly
me: actually making guys hard is an ok topic
greg: whats too early to notice an erection?
me: huh?
greg: when is it ok for a girl to noticea guys erection?
me: when she wants his dick
i guess
whats that question mean?
greg: lets say youre out on a date
and its the walk back home
that leads to the kiss
at what point in this walk is it ok to get an erection?
this might be too guy centric a topic
me: see i find it surprising that it's ever not ok
if she's into you, she probably loves the idea that you have one
i think its a compliment
if shes not into you she wont like it
i think thats the bottom line
but its never not ok
greg: youre very progrssive on the subject
me: i mean its a bodily thing you cant control i think
greg: thats CORRECT
BUT
girls dont always get that so well
me: really?
i am surprised to learn this
greg: what im trying say is i get boners EVerYWHER
me: still?
greg: ive had a constant erection since 9th grade
me: thats a good thing
its a sign of youth
has a woman ever commented on it in a negative way?
you should be proud of this
greg: i am
me: it means you are verile
greg: ive had girlfriends get tired of i think
girls are so fuckin sexy
they can do like anything
its hot
me: thats funny
and not true
greg: its completely true
me: want to list things?
popping zits
pooping
stabbing themselves
greg: pooping isnt awful
me: rubbing dead rats in their mouths
greg: hahaha
thats hot
you just turned me on
me: beating the shit out of you
greg: keep talking dirty
me: shooting themselves in the foot with a shotgun
greg: youre so self destrucitve baby
i love it
me: smooshing rotten bologne in their fingers and then having their water break
greg: wow
will you marry me
me: dripping sheep intestines out of their vaginas
fucking your parents in a threesome
using word perfect
building a wooden box around their body
greg: keep it coming wifey
me: wearing elderly people as clothing
greg: i want to grow old with you and have you do that to me on my death bed
me: having bloody boogers all on their upper lip
greg: im going to cast a large budget porno based on this idea
me: shoveling fetuses into their hair
diving into piles of rusty nails and then bleeding onto books about the holocaust
greg: the holocaust isnt funny
me: harvesting squash in their pores
greg: but i have an erection anyway
me: fucking themselves with a bloody cock that was ripped off a human
greg: ok-
im tired of this game
me: did I win?
greg: because apparently, im not that attracted to girls
yea
you did
Last 5 posts by Heather
- On Sexyness - January 24th, 2007
- Goddamn I just really love me some makeup. - January 17th, 2007
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— 14 February 2008 @ 1:15 am
Comments
“using word perfect”
Ugh, what a turnoff!
“apparently, im not that attracted to girls” hehehe. My boyfriend just referred me to your site. Funny funny funny! I have no idea if this is your normal style, but I like it anyways.
i get a hard-on every time i come to this site. hope that’s ok.
jr
Ahaha, that’s awesome.
This kinda reminded me of a conversation I had with my mom once - wait wait, not like that. I was being an obnoxious teen and made some wise crack about castrating bulls while we were at a restaraunt eating dinner. She promptly went into graphic, excrutiating detail on how it is done, from start to finish, including animal noises. Oh right, right, suddenly I remembered, she grew up on a farm…
Man, you gotta be carefull what you start sometimes.
Funny, I don’t remember writing all this. Sounds about right though. Pore squash is soooo hot.
Oh. Dear. God. That is so wrong it’s gotta be right.
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