Lo’s Weekly Rant
Stamped: August 10th, 2006 | Toggle Similar
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Well troops, I’m a little at a loss for things to bitch about. Currently I’m blogging from Montreal, QC and having a grand ole time. I’m subletting an apartment for two months to chill out and figure out what the fizzle to do with my life. I ditched the nine to five bullshit, but more likely than not I’ll be back there soon. In the mean time I’m checking out what French Canad-ia has to offer as far as fine male specimens. Really, it’s research. I mean, why else would Meme have let me go?
So far so good, the Frenchies are cute and they’re also real friendly-like. Thus far I’ve gotten chatted up at the airport, at a café and randomly on the street. I was perched on the sidewalk straddling my bike (that’s right, straddling) and saw a cute bike-messengerish boy whiz by. Considering I am navigationally challenged (there are pills and I’m taking injections) I had stopped to check my map because, really, how many times does a girl need to go up a hill before she realizes it’s the wrong one. Well, lo and behold frenchie McCutie is by my side with his adorable scraggly stubble and ever –so helpful smile.
He says, “So I ask myself, what kind of book would someone be reading on a bike? So I turn around. Where are you going?”
“Home with you Jean –Luc, that’s where.” I said.
(Well not really but in my fantasy that’s what I said)
Regardless, he gave me directions and a flirty little smile and was on his way. No more blaming Canada for this girl. Oh, hell no.
My one complaint though (oh, like you didn’t know that was coming) is the mother-fucking speedos. Seriously guys, what the fuck is WITH that. I am not one to tout the virtues of America on high but at LEAST the speedos are few and far between. Ugh. I was at the pool today that’s about a block from my apartment and saw not one, not two, not three, but 10 speedos in the span of an hour. And these weren’t crusty old pot-bellied men wearing them either, these were fine strapping lads that, had they been in board shorts, I would have flung my virginity at (ha. ha.) Tragic really. So that is my only lament thus far, and quite a lament it is because that’s half the fun of hopping into bed with someone; the element of surprise. So I say, ye Frenchmen- why you gotta ruin it for a girl? Eh? Put your junk away. Serious-like.
Okay, maybe if you're a hot olympic athlete you get to wear a speedo…maybe.
Last 5 posts by Lo
- Hello, God? It's me, Fashion Mullet. - March 30th, 2007
- To Slut or Not to Slut, That is the Question... - October 26th, 2006
- Sidle on Up to the Booty Bar - October 20th, 2006
- Slacker Central - October 12th, 2006
- Lo's Weekly Rant: I Call Bullshit. - October 5th, 2006
H.O.L.Y. S.H.I.T.
Okay, now, I *was* a swimmer, so I used to do a mile 3x a week. No longer, heh. But….if I had THAT to look at I sure as hell would throw my pastey white and mottled with sunspot body into the fricken chlorine every. blessed. day. With the cap and goggles I would be totally unknowable (as if the uberpleasnt 47yr. old body was not enuff)…the water would be cold, so the perky nipples would not give me away, and well, I’m in the water so subsequent moisture is negligible.
*splash* And thanks for the cudos over at Pauly’s house!
OOOh, I’m having an early-80s flashback!
Truth in advertising, that’s what those Speedos are all about. Once you figure out, er, where to look… No surprises there, girls!
Only in Canada, as they say, eh?
Bienvenue a Montreal!
Voulez vous manger avec moi? Oh, and what a great blog you guys, ummm, I mean girls, have!