Stamped: August 23rd, 2006 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: cry for help, food, hot sex, things i ♥, toys.

One of the more dangerous things you can do is go grocery shopping on an empty stomach. I know for myself it's a particularly perilous situation. I fill my cart with all kinds of cheeses, cookies, ice cream, frozen pizzas…all things that require minimal cooking time so I can reach in the bag on my way home and start my gorging. Of course once my foodfest has satiated my cravings I'm left with about twenty pounds of dorito/pringles/entemanns/oreo crap in my kitchen to devour over the following days. Bad. Very bad.

Now, I'm sure you would agree that sex is much like food. (And sex with food is pretty damn hot too.)

So let me be the first to warn you. Never, I mean never, go sex toy shopping whilst horny. This is even more dangerous than the previously mentioned food/empty stomach dilemma. Allow me to explain. You see, food generally goes in one orifice (depending on what you're doing with the food.) But sex toys. Well there are plenty more orificial uses and oh so many toys for all those places. You could end up entirely plugged up, tied up, and completely over-satiated. Not to mention how damned expensive some of those things are.

Here's my suggestion: Do your sex toy shopping while hungry and your grocery shopping while horny. That way you'll grab your toys as quickly as possible in order to go eat and your groceries will be so darn healthy with all those cucumbers, zucchini, carrots and margarine spreads.

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