Hypothetical Thursdays
Stamped: August 31st, 2006 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: all things hot, hot sex.
Hypothetical Thursdays
Okay, so I have a question for you – one which might send me to a particularly hot place in a little woven basket, but ah well. So I’m not sure how many of you out there are voyeurs (well, ecouterists, really) but I’d bet the farm it’s a good amount. It’s really amusing to me how funny people are about it, how ashamed they are that they could get turned on by the noises coming from the next bedroom instead of just some grainy porn from 1986. One of my exes used to talk all the time (rather publicly – like in the middle of bars) about how hot is was when he overheard his roommates going at it into the wee hours. I used to laugh a little about how shocked people were, I mean, yes a little uncouth to mention it in mixed company but I could relate, I mean who doesn’t? Yeah, you know them, they’re you’re roommates, it’s a little taboo, but so what? Pretty minor on the scale of kink but for some reason when you talk about getting turned on by people entirely platonic to you, you’ve crossed some kind of uncomfortable line. I mean, you can’t exactly walk out of your room in the morning, pass your roomie in the hall and be like “Hey, heard you guys last night. That was totally hot – I mean TOTALLY hot”, it would elicit and uncomfortable silence and them immediately wondering how far you took it. I mean were you just listening or were you…errr, never mind.
(see, if I put up a classical painting to represent eavesdropping that makes it OKAY)
Now, for the hypothetical. (Which I can neither confirm, nor deny, actually happened to me in San Francisco)
Let’s say you have these downstairs neighbors – a couple, they’re quite nice but there is also not one bit of them that you find attractive. In fact, the thought of a threesome is just about as far down the spectrum from HOT, as you can get. Although, you’re pretty sure they want one – but that’s beside the point. So one night through an open window to the courtyard downstairs – to their open window – you hear it. Muffled at first but increasing in volume as the minutes pass. You crane your neck a little and sit very still. You hear it. They’re totally and utterly going at it. So ugly people DO have sex! And HOT sex apparently!
Now. We’ll take a little poll, you can answer in the comments and don’t worry, there’s no shame here – it’s a happy place, with good energy (as they say in Cali).
So, what happens next?
a) It finally dawns on you WHO is having the sex and you get up and close the window and go to bed – vowing to go out the next night and yourself laid.
b) Sit very, very, still. What’s that? Oh yeah, it’s the sound of suspended disbelief. Somehow, you’re able to forget WHO is actually doing the nasty and pretend it’s Brad and Angelina down there. After that, it’s voyeuristic business as usual. Wash, rinse, repeat.
As for me? Well, if enough of you bitches step up to the plate and answer the poll I’ll oblige, but until then – your guess is as good as mine.
Smooches,
Lo
Last 5 posts by Lo
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I think I’d land somewhere between A and B. Sit out there and listen, but I’m sorry, ugly people totally don’t turn me on even if I don’t have to see them. I know I’m going out on a limb there.
What about being the one that leaves her windows open in the middle of the afternoon when the maintenance guys are outside?
most of my neighbours are retired people. if they’re still having hot sex, good on them, but if i were to hear them i’d be plugging my ears with my fingers and humming the Hockey Night in Canada theme til they’re done…
I dislike ugly people because they are inferior. A.
Hmmmm, well since the votes are errrr a little less than overwhelming, I’ll keep my deviance to myself. And meme- we know you’re that girl so don’t even try to hide it. Heather, you’re full of shit right up to your titty tassles, you’re totally B.
I’m with Heather. A. And yay for titty tassles!
a good banging is invigorating whether they’re ugly or not. they’re still having the same sex the rest of us are having, just not at that moment. B
jr
Hmmm
I am going to share an experience from the other side.
Having been fooling around quite vigorously from 7:30pm through till 10:30pm on the sofa we migrated to the bedroom where my girl pretended to tie me up (actually she did try to tie me up but she wasn’t really paying attention) anyway with her on top and me bucking like crazy we started getting louder and then I hear the banging of the bed on the wall.
After about 15 minutes of this I also hear her moans, groans and screams change slightly but it’s so hot. Then after a further while (its a bit after midnight now) I realize that for the past hour there has been banging on the floor from below and muffled yells coming in through the window (co-incidentally a courtyard one). Shit how embarrassing.
Anyway the next morning at 6:23am (precisely! in all senses of the word) a young lady thumps on the apartment door and when I answer she promptly delivers a lecture about letting her hear us have sex = bad. One thing I noticed though was when I answered the door she was taken aback at the sight of me. You see I obviously was not the stud that she was expecting. In-fact I am sure I was less than optimal given that I started out with the bar fairly low on appearance and then had had 5 hours of raucous sex and less than 5 hours of sleep prior to her knocking.
We were only house sitting so we decided not to stay the next two nights we were due to.
It doesn’t end there though, because that night as I was collecting our stuff (including the ripped pantyhose I found still tied to the bed - now unknowingly hanging out of my pocket) I knocked on her apartment door and tried to politely and embarrassedly give her a bottle of expensive wine to say sorry (and in the hope she did not tell the person we where house sitting for). Of course she accepted graciously and then when she looked down (I thought she was checking out my crotch) she suddenly got the jitters and hurriedly shut the door!
It was only later on the street that I realized she must have seen the pantyhose and thought maybe I had come to pay her a visit…
Long story but yes we euphemistically non-super models types do have sex and sometimes it is very hot even if its just to us.
That type of shit always makes me uncomfortable.
Remember when we were roomates and I had loud sex all the time?
jack- whoa, that’s quite a story. Did you ever consider that she may have gotten the jitters because she was secretly turned on by the thought of you tying her up with pantyhose? jus’ sayin.
radd - I’ve always enjoyed making you uncomfortable, lucky for you my sister and I were sharing a room when we lived together. As for all of your loud sex, the walls must have been thick cause I didn’t hear a thing. But the question remains, can you hear imaginary things? didn’t think so. oxoxox
Umm
Actually no I never did consider that was what she was thinking when she quickly but firmly closed the door
.
I am one of those guys who has learnt that they can get with most girls that they want ONLY if the girl is willing to learn more about me than just cursory information and appearance.
One fact about me is that I have never dated a girl that did not end up sleeping with me. Another fact is that I believe I have been rejected - when asking for a date - at a higher percentage than most guys due to my average looks.
So maybe I am better when choosing women in my league - and this nervous young lady was definitely out of my league.
As far as noise goes, I believe “all sex is sexy” if you look at it from the perspective of the particpants enjoying themselves. Which is what I desire most from my partner, and I will strive to ensure it, that she enjoys herself immensely.
I grew up listening to my parents have sex in the next room, which as a young teenager I found repulsive and then as I’ve gotten older I now feel really happy for them that their marriage is still going strong after 27 years. So while I don’t live at home anymore, it doesn’t bother me like it used to. Just roll over and block it out.
In the unit block we live in now though, there were these two couples that used to compete with each other for who could be loudest, one time we heard them all the way down the street!