9 Responses to Vagina, I Curse Thee

Comments

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  I used to think PMS was a myth many years ago, and then I decided to note it each time. The good thing about it, I suppose (lol), is that it can be used as a legit reason for moments where a female wants to ‘off’ someone…like an asshole boyfriend…anyway…I looked into my saved jokes on pms:

  “A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
  For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged,masculine features.

  And when she is menstruating, she prefers a man
  doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his arse.”

  Posted by Anastasia # 1 year, 7 months ago
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  Anastasia, that’s good info there. Ouch with the scissors though.

  Meme, I hope you feel better. 2 weeks? That’s a lot of sobbing.

  Posted by Albone # 1 year, 7 months ago
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  I think the picture with the kitten says it all. Now would be a good time to acquire a substance abuse problem - not that I advocate that. No, no no no, drugs are baaaad.

  Posted by Lo # 1 year, 7 months ago
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  no, drugs are good when used judiciously. why aren’t you on something, anything? you shouldn’t have to be suffering this much. it’s not right. if there was ever a time you don’t have to suck it up and be a man, it’s now, my dear.

  Posted by Serenity # 1 year, 7 months ago
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  severe cramps, bloating and sobbing are all mind numbing side effects of the monthly. but, it comes nowhere near the sheer anger and pain a girl feels when she has a yeast infection. i was lucky enough to get my first one 2 weeks ago, and let me tell you, i had fantasies about taking a mini cheese grater, shoving it up my kooch and having my way with it.

  Posted by Del # 1 year, 7 months ago
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  muscle relaxers + wine = GOOD

  Posted by Meme # 1 year, 7 months ago
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  Meme, even through your shitty PMS induced state of mind you still come across as intelligent, articulate and fucking hilarious.

  Posted by trinity67 # 1 year, 7 months ago
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  I have to admit I agree with your post. I have realized that in my lifetime I have had 3 serious boyfriends. All of which I have broken up with on my first day of my PMS cycle. My mood swings are extreme to the point where I love and appreciate to I despise and am disgusted by them.
  I HATE using it as an excuse, but it’s true the fluctutaion in mood swings is extreme.

  Posted by ME # 1 year, 6 months ago
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  I stripped in the doctor’s office. This is when I was 7. They chained my ankles and wrists to the examining table, then put my head in a machine to hold it in place. Then he left the room. After that I wondered what was going to happen. Then a blinding pain made me faint. When I woke up, the machine around my head was lifted. I twisted around, and saw a doctor in me. I fainted again. When I awoke, this time, he was out. Then, they grabbed my wrists, and chained them to a bar above my head. Then my ankles to that same bar. I hung limply with pain. All the while, my vagina being ripped open. Then, the interns that were there, (there was about 20)wheeled over a machine. They, injected a needle in my ass to hook me up to the machine and it started pulling apart my vagina. Then, a doctor reached in my vagina, and started pulling on my uterus, injecting 2 needles in my vagina at the same time. Then, while they were pulling, the nurses injected me with 2 needles in my neck, 4 in each arm, 5 in my back, 3 in each breast, 4 in my stomach, 3 in my pelvis, 2 in each thigh, 4 in each ankle, and the 2 in my vagina. Then, finally they took out the needles in my vagina, and then I saw the doctor insert his penis back into my vagina. Getting caught on the rough walls of my vagina. Him humping, I fainted. Then, I had to start pushing and not pushing and whatever, so they stimulated me with another needle. Then, the doctors dropped a heavy wight on my pelvis, while another intern held my uthera, to stop me from peeing, but my bladder was pushing on my uterus also. Then, right before I fainted again, I heard the nurse say that I had to have the same injections for 3 times a day, for 1 whole year. I couldn’t have any pain killers for any of this either, because I have a disease. Believe me, I know pain.

  Posted by Emma Lancer # 1 year, 4 months ago

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