Kittens: A Lot Like Porn
Stamped: October 3rd, 2006 | Toggle Similar
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There's just something about kittens where I can sit around on my ass searching for cute pictures of them all day long. It's an activity I can get sucked into for hours on end. And when I find a good one, I think to myself, "That's a nice pic." I usually like to see their cute little noses or their paws. I get excited at a good shot or proper angle on their cute parts. Upon realizing these things I feel creepy. I don't want to have sex with kittens or inappropriately touch them. I for one think that molesting kittens is really very wrong and if I thought a kitten was in danger of being sexually violated, I would do whatever I could, within reason, to help the kitten. I say within reason because I wouldn't murder someone that was molesting a kitten. But it would be really scary to encounter someone who was molesting a kitten. Oh man what an uncomfortable confrontation that would be.
I am pretty sure that I would say, "Stop molesting that kitten". And if they didn't listen, I'd say it louder. If that didn't work, depending on how strong the molester looks, I might try grabbing the kitten and carrying it to safety. But if the molester is strong and menacing, I think I would shoot him. So nevermind. When I think about it I would murder someone who was molesting a kitten if they are strong and seem dangerous. I guess it's because I couldn't think of anything else to do to stop the kitten molestation. I mean, I'd have to do something to render the person unable to molest. I know with certainty that death would work. Gosh I really don't know. I hope I never find myself in a predicament like that, but you really can't predict what the future may hold. Life is funny that way.
What do you think? What would you do to stop a strong and menacing kitten molester? And why hasn't the government done anything to prepare people for this situation? Are there any things that you so enjoy googling, that your satisfaction upon finding good google results reminds you of surfing the net for porn?
I look forward to your thoughts and suggestions. Thank you and good day.
(PS, Another Hoboken Comedy Night is this Sunday, Oct 8 at 8pm. Click here for more info www.HobokenComedyNight.com. The event is a benefit towards the Molested Kitties of America )
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I don’t own a gun, but I think I need one now in case I run across a kitten molester. I mean you’ve got to be prepared, right?
down with pussy touchers
I would lie to the molester and say “Why are you wasting your time with that ugly cat?!??!? Dude, I just saw a box full of ten times cuter kittens right down the street and the box said ‘free to ANY home, even a molester one’”
Then when the molester has left, I’d comfort the abused kitten and tell him/her that it wasn’t his/her fault and that it’s okay to be mad at the bad bad man.
Try www.kittenwar.com for cute pictures of Kittens!!!
Anyone who shoots a kitten molester is a friend of mine.
oohhhhh i have this addiction too!! kittens are just so adorable, the moment u see one u have to go awwhhhh, i just melt
so thank u for the cutey pics
and oh i think kiity molesters (how terrible a thought) should be left to clean doggy doo’s for the rest of their sorry lives!