Stamped: November 1st, 2006 | Toggle Similar
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I was going to try to compliment this guy's dick today over gchat. Yeah. I know. I'm a pretty cool person who makes interesting goals for herself every day. It was going to go like this:

me: Hey, guess what I am an expert in?

him: I don't know, cock?

me: Yeah. And I think yours is great.

And then he'd feel really special because I am a cock expert and then he'd know that I truly appreciate how great his is. Unfortunately, the owner of the nice cock is just really a nice, sweet guy as opposed to a filthy pervert type, and I feel kind of bad just outright saying all the pervert stuff in my head to him. I feel fairly confident that I'd make him uncomfortable. That said, I take such pleasure in saying obsene things to people that I really like to do it one way or another. So I figured he's not the type to just go up to and say, "Hey man I think you have an awesome cock and I am so psyched for the next time I get to interact with it." I tried being clever, and I failed, as this is what actually transpired:

Me: hey if you were to say i was an expert in something, what would that be?

Him: dolphin hunting
um
well
i don't know. where does most of your knowledge lie?

me: well
i mean take a guess
(pause)
you suck at guessing

him: i really do

me: yes
well i was going to allude to something more occupational

him: shit. I have to go to something that i completely forgot about
i'll talk to you later

me: k

Little did he know that I was trying to communicate to him my positive opinion towards his genitals. It's not important really, until you blow it out of proportion and blog about it. I'll probably forward him a link to this. At least this way he will know that I'm creepy.

Last 5 posts by Heather

• On Sexyness - January 24th, 2007
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