Intelligent Design?
Stamped: November 16th, 2006 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: complaint dept., snoring, unfunny.
Today I was going to write a post about snoring. As for me, I do not snore but it seems that every man I've ever dated snores. Being the scientifically minded sort of person I started to do my research based on the premise that perhaps there is some evolutionary reason for the snoring phenomenon.
Then to round out the post I was going to write I did a search on Google images for snoring pics and I came across the following picture…
I looked at it and thought, "Why is that girl in bed with her dad?" But it's not her dad. We are expected to presume that is her lover/spouse, that a hot nubile brunette would shack up with an old balding chubby dude. Um, no. We could make the assumption that either he is rich or well-endowed (or she is blind) but I'm going to opt for another big NO on that too. This is an example of the trend in media to pair up hot women with ugly dudes. Is the mainstream media is trying to brainwash hot women in to believing that they should be with ugly dudes?
Case in point:
But, being the scientifically minded sort, I started to question the reasoning behind this. Is there a scientific/evolutionary reason for this? According to this article when you have a pairing of two good looking people you are more likely to have female offspring than male therefore reducing the amount of good looking men in our population.
When Dr Kanazawa looked at the sex of the volunteers' first-born children, he found attractive parents were far more likely to have had girls.
[…]
Dr Kanazawa said: "Because physical attractiveness is heritable, and because physically attractive parents have more daughters and less attractive parents have more sons, over time, the average level of physical attractiveness among women increases relative to men, so that women are, on average, more attractive than men."
So eventually the world will be filled hot chicks and ugly guys and we might as well get used to it, right? That is just fucked up. I feel sorry for future generations of hot girls. You have my sympathy. I guess you'll just have deal with it, but if he snores too then fucking punch him in the throat.
Last 5 posts by Meme
- Mama don't Preach - May 18th, 2007
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Comments
Dude- I am so fucking with you on this! I think it’s sexist for chicks to go way out of their league and not fucking fair at all. We deserve personality and sexyness. High five girlfrieeeend!
Looking like you do, you might want to be a little less shallow. And they put hot women on TV with regular looking guys because these guys are funny. These are sitcoms. And hot women are what everyone wants to watch. Looks are the main criteria which women are judged by, whereas men arejudged by a variety.
Thankfully for you, men aren’t just judged by their grammatical strengths. I’m sure you have a gigantic cock to make up for it, though.
What is with all the hating around here?
Actually most girls think “gigantic” cocks are too big. And girls I date are way too classy to talk as crudely as you. My post wasn’t hating at all, who did I insult? You feminazis are too sensitive.
Thank fuck, I thought I was the only one majorly creeped out by King of Queens (and Everybody Loves Raymond) for their repulsive man and hott wife combos. I’m going to crawl back under my rock now and ponder whether or not to opt for lesbifying surgery.
Wait! Shallow? Hahahaha. Hey, at least I was open minded enough to look into scientific reasoning while on the other hand you opted for the following approach:
And while we’re on the subject, let’s talk about cocks and dirty mouths. Now that’s where it’s at. Unless it’s too crude for you?
Meme, did you know that it is a statistiscal fact that if a man is bald, he is more likely to have a bigger dick? I’ll cite the study if you would like- I’m talking about natural bald. After reading about the study, I think I wished I was bald.
Damn! I’ve been ratted out. It’s twue, it’s twue. I’m the president/CEO of several media conglomorates. TV shows, movies, you name it. We do it all.
Of course, I’m old, chubby, and hung like a gerbil. So what’s a guy to do? I thought it was a great idea, paring up ugly dudes with hot bitches in all of our TV shows. Brainwash the public. Easier for me to get a date that way. (Nineteen year old blonde with big tits and a tight ass to her girlfriend: “Um, well, he does kind of look like your Dad, but in a Jim Belushi sort of way.”)
And then you come along and spoil everything. How did I know that you’d come along and actually watch the crap we put out? And then analyze it?
So, thank you very much. My nineteen year old girlfriend just read your post and canceled our date tonight.
Ummm… you busy later?
Feminazi? Swing and a miss.
Dan, you had me at “hung like a gerbil”.
it’s on.
Hey Meme,
I’m not kidding. I did some geneological research tracing my lineage back about 30,000 years. (This is all possible with modern technology!)
I discovered my ancestor Ogg, and it turns out there’s a scientific basis for it. Ogg knew it back then, the bastard. So I wrote a clever story about it. A bit longish to post here, but send me your e-mail address if you can figure it out, I’ll send you the story and some naked photos of me.
I meant if you can figure my e-mail address out. Obviously you know yours. Duh.
I’m not so sure about this study. Like when he says:
“People from all societies agree on who is beautiful and who is ugly, he stressed.”
That’s complete crap. “Beautiful” is completely subjective. From an evolutionary standpoint, subjective traits can’t be selected for. How do you genetically define “beautiful”? It’s all about passing on your genes.
Wisecrow–what are you saying to me??? I am a scientist or a professor at a college or a university someplace. I even have a BA in science. I was relying on this erudite scientific discourse to plan my next research project involving 10 co-eds, 5 condoms, and a keg of beer. Are you telling me that its all for naught, that there could be a specious argument somewhere in Dr Kwanza’s thesis? That’s kwazy.
And as for Meme, are you saying that as a professional smart-ass, she has an obligation to verify her source material before she makes claims which ultimately cannot be substantiated by the scientific method?
I guess I thought this was the Scientific American site, but with chicks. I better find the real SA site because I know that everything on that site is true. Have you seen their magazines? Really complicated. Those fuckers are smart.
Back to this site, when I’m not laughing, I even rely on information on here to diagnose medical and psychological conditions of my friends and family. (I know, I know, practicing medicine without a license and all, but hey, these bitches are smart.)
Now what am I going to do? Who can I trust? Oh, the horror, the horror.
Actually, (and I only “heard” this…I don’t remember where the study came from) people are naturally attracted toward specific looks. It has to do with the placement and symmetry of facial features…as well as the rest of the body…the proportion theory that’s based on the number that I can’t remember.
Somebody back me up here…
Rat Bastards! While procrastinating at work I came up with and posted a clever follow-up post, which was rejected on the flimsiest of grounds–it appeared to be spam. Of course, the brain cells that had formulated that particular post are now deceased, so I’ll have to come up with something else.
Jenna–I think you are referring to the Golden Mean. Its a 3 to 2 ratio, sort of, I think. DaVinici knew about this. Its the reason that credit cards are the shape that they are. It also has to do with this repeating number sequence that’s found only in math.
I myself am a scientist or a professor or something at a college or a university someplace, maybe. I’ve devised a scientific experiement to test out the kwazy Dr. Kwanza’s and Meme’s hypothesis. My experiment involves 10 co-eds (do they still call them co-eds?), 5 condoms, and a keg of beer. Better throw in a bottle of Viagara–extra strength. One has to make sacrifices to advance the cause of science.
Dan:
This is indeed the Scientific American site, with chicks. It’s always pissed me off that the other SA site refuses to give sex advice. So I come here. Your experiment sounds awesome - let me know what happens. Of course the results might indicate how “beautiful” you are, so be careful. And did you know that the length of the extended scrotal sack and the length of the flacid penis conforms to the Golden Ratio? And obviously you’re not really a scientist or professor or something. If you were, you’d be using a nice merlot instead of the beer (and don’t forget the Astroglide - nature’s most perfect substance)….
I hate snoring. Apparently I snore as well but I’m cute. So. Stop with the snoring already and let me sleep. We’ll all be happier in the mroning.
Oops - morning. Sorry. I hate typos as well.
Wisecrow: I take issue with the suggestion that I’m not a scientist or a professor. Why, just this afternoon I bought a sport coat with patches on the elbows. If that doesn’t prove I’m a member of academe, I don’t know what does. My drink of choice is Everclear, but the problem with that stuff is that after 7 or 8 shots I end up throwing up on my shoes. I can never stop at just six.
Dan:
Those sport coats are so yesterday. As are wingtips covered in vomit…