Best. Dating. Clubs. Ever?
Stamped: November 24th, 2006 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: comedy, dates of yore, dating hijinks, sponsored post.
Recently we were contacted to review a website. I always wonder if the people who contact us for reviews actually read our site. I mean, don't they realize that we're a group of foul-mouthed, bitter, smart-ass chicks?
Onto the sponsored review…
So, when the email came in and I decided I should at least check out the site, you know poke around a bit. The site is called Best Dating Clubs, a dating website. The first thing I thought was, "another internet dating site? ugh." I've done internet dating sites and successfully met: naked-lawyer-guy, bad-teeth-guy, psycho-secret-agent-guy, and vienna-sausage. Needless to say, I've sworn off those sites. I like meeting men the natural way, you know, spilling coffee on them on the subway then wiping it off with my mini-skirt. There's always the spit-ball approach, then you can find out if he has a sense of humor and if not you can have a good laugh over the little wads of wet cocktail napkins in his hair.
Now back to the site review. On the front page of the site there's a super-easy to use search box so I plugged in my coordinates:
And, no, you can't select an age lower than 18 (I tried).
It came up with a bunch of dudes in the tristate area. Fine specimens of manhood. Guys I can imagine taking to meet my folks and procreating many times over with. Well, that is if my only criteria is a picture of their wiener and a few thought provoking, choice words. Keep it simple, right?
Woah, Zeus!
They all seem like thoughtful, intelligent, sensitive guys, I can hardly choose (is there a select all button somewhere here?) My oh my.
(oh, and Batman947, there's something that looks like a weird thread hanging from your humdinger, you may wanna get that checked out.)
I realize that not all of our readers are looking for guys. So I ventured into uncharted territory: W4M. I have to say the choices are equally delectable…
And while Carmen looks to have already found a male counterpart in that picture I can only imagine that perhaps he is solo and therefore does not fit into her "group" criteria. Or maybe she dumped him due to his lack of photographic skills? Either way, she seems like a swell gal.
If that doesn't get you going, why not read some of the testimonials:
- Jgriffing14
"About a month ago i started talking to a girl on here. she lived about a half hour away from me and she looked pretty damn good… i was kind of skeptical and nervous at first but sure enough we met and had a nice long day of watching movies, cuddling and a nice long fucking session where she had 5 amazing orgasms in a half hour…it was the best sex of my short life…thanks" - anonymous
"Me and my wife wish to truly thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We met on this site. And, just 2 months later, on 8-10-2001, we were married. And, we have been extremely happily married ever since. Our marriage has been like a story that you read in a romance novel. We have never been happier and our marriage is absolutely perfect. We, Rollin & Connie, just want to say a very big thank you from the bottom of our hearts." - 19mnbp
"hey i just want to say thax for thi site i met this girl from another state, wich i was traveling to, but wee hooked up and we had the best sex ever.. so thanks again.." - bigdickfreak4u
"I have recently checked out other dating sites and man do they suck they are no were near this one. I was finally able to find one that I could really see photos and videos of other members on here. This site is the best I think everyone should try it out."
Ok so onto my final thoughts about Best Dating Clubs… if you're looking for an internet dating website for free out of focus pornographic pictures, interesting grammar/spelling, and "clever" screen names this site is for you! I give this site A++ for true comedic potential.
*This post was a paid review. Yay, wine money!
Last 5 posts by Meme
- Mama don't Preach - May 18th, 2007
- You don't have to Fuck Me twice to get the point across - May 11th, 2007
- Update: Newsworthy? - May 4th, 2007
- Nipples, Pasties and Lesbians - April 27th, 2007
- Vagina! - April 20th, 2007
Hey Meme,
I, for one, dig foul-mouthed, bitter, smart-assed chicks. At least I think I do. There’s no other explanation for the fact that I’m married. Well, maybe I’m incompetent (or incontinent. I always get those two confused. I know that with one you need to wear Depends though). I actually got the twofer–my dear sweet lovely wife, plus her dear mother!
I think the people in the Best Dating Club should form a real club and then beat each other over the head with it.
I did a double take on the wanker photos. (Actually, the first one is eriely reminiscent of a club.) Initially I thought that each guy had a little sequined sweater made for his pizzle. My wife has a purse with big sequins like that–though its more of a squarish shape. I was all ready to get out my credit card and order one from you guys. (Its cold where I am!) Then I realized it was all trick photography, photo-shop stuff that you did to protect my innocence. Rats! But, if you generate enough interest, I suspect that within the next several months, 11 year olds in Nicaragua will start manufacturing them and they will be the hottest gift item next Christmas. Maybe they could put a little reindeer bell on the tip. Jingle balls, jingle balls… jingle all the…
I never thought of spilling coffee on someone as a pretext for meeting them. Back in my dating days, when I saw a woman I liked, I’d just start following her for days on end, from a distance of, say 30 feet or so. When she’d turn around to see who was following her, I’d just hide behind a tree or a car or something.
By the way, I notice that in order to post this post, I have to click on a little blue button down below that says “Submit.” Does that have S&M overtones?
Addenda:
By the way, I just noticed that your search coordinates include men in the age range of 18 to 99. I’m taken, but my great grandfather is only 98. I could hook you guys up!
Um, this particular entry is pretty much gratuitious. I noticed that on the one immediately above this one, I used the plural form–”addenda,” when in fact it was only an addendum. Of course, with thie addition of this entry, “addenda” is now gramatically correct.
Oh, Dan.
fucking latin and all its declensions…
iam, vado tactus vestri.
Hey, I’m from Middletwon [sic] Connecticut! I wonder if I know drippy-dick…I hope not…
I for one, would love to read (and see) Dan’s profile on Best Dating Clubs. I would especially look forward to his sequin-encrusted penis shot. In fact, I’d mostly just like to imagine the process of encrusting the sequins. I suspect that, if present, we might hear much foul language (latin and other) during the process, which would of course be later edited by Dan for inaccuracies of nuance and usage.
What do you think, Meme?
la fille: “To quote Dan… ‘Fuck!’”
Dan: “Excuse me, la fille, that was actually ‘Phuck’ with a ‘Ph,’ as in ‘Phhuuucccckkkk!!@!’”
My experience has been that with frequent bathing, one can generally avoid any kind of crust forming on or about one’s penis. Just one man’s opinion, but hey… there’s much to be said for proper hygeine for all genders.
la fille: I get the distinct feeling that “Dan” is not all talk. In fact, I would hesitate to challenge him.
I? Challenge Dan, Meme? It is to laugh. In fact, it is to phucking laugh. I fully believe that Dan is capable of anything.
Dan — Good luck with the bathing thing.
Um, she probably was referring to the dozens. Thanks for the good wishes. Now if I could only find my rubber swan…