Stamped: December 7th, 2006 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: around town, dates of yore, dating hijinks, friends and losers, rant.
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According to Omni Brain girls are evil.
Yeah, he may have a mathematical equation behind his hypothesis but come on. I hate to generalize. Not all girls = time and/or money. You know I'm right. So in the spirit of equality I will present my counter-argument. And in the spirit of fairness I will only speak of the men I have dated, since I know not all men are bad, only the ones I have been with. This is a fact.
Now, being the scientifically minded sort and having studied Political Science in college I understand the fundamental importance of random sampling and the standard deviation. In fact, I understand how to model patterns in data, while accounting for randomness and drawing inferences about the larger population. These inferences may take the form of answers to yes/no questions (hypothesis testing), estimates of numerical characteristics (estimation), forecasting of future observations, descriptions of association (correlation), or modeling of relationships (regression). Got that?
Onto the evidence.
Meme's Exs = Emotional Fucktwats
What is an emotional fucktwat?
- Let's take a look at Bachelor #1, Meme's Italian ex-boyfriend Lorenzo. Lorenzo spent his time alone reading Meme's private diary, searching all the folders in her computer, figuring out her email password and reading all her emails. Emailing all her friends and calling her mother to get more info about her.
- Okay, Bachelor #2, Meme's Argentinian ex-boyfriend Sandro. Sandro followed Meme around like a puppydog, showing up unannounced at her apartment daily with flowers, calling her every morning just to say 'good morning'. After 3 weeks of dating he broke down in tears when she told him she was accepted to study at a university abroad for a year.
- Then we've got Bachelor #3, The date that never even happened, Trevor. Trevor was excited to meet Meme through a mutual friend. He was able to procure her phone number and called to ask her out on a date. 1/2 hour before the date he calls to cancel because "if we go out, we'll have a great time, maybe have a few drinks and kiss a little bit, then I'll ask you out again and it will be even better and my attraction will grow, eventually I will fall for you and you will break my heart."
- And I can't forget to add Bachelor #4, Hot New York Summer loving with Jack. Jack and Meme had an amazing first date in the West Village, sparks flew. After 2 more equally fireworks inducing dates Jack calls Meme at work and has a complete breakdown over the phone. She calms him down. They go out again and decide to hop in the sack. Unfortunately Jack cannot keep it up because, surprise surprise, he's on anti-depressants.
It's important to mention that this is a true random sampling as I have lived in and dated men from California to New York to Italy and most of these guys were from a multitude of other places. So, suffice it to say, these fucktwats I speak of are not limited to any location/age/race.
Having presented the evidence it is fairly obvious that this random sample can be considered representative of the greater population. Except of course for my good friends that are guys, cause they're totally awesome.
How's that for proof? Go take your silly little equation, Omni Brain, and tuck it back into your Pre-Algebra textbook.
Last 5 posts by Meme
The Root of All Evil
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— 15 November 2007 @ 12:43 am
Comments
I’m disappointed you didn’t use bias-corrected variance, that is 1/N-1. Besides, you need to have 30 exes to make this statistically significant
Elliott, are you suggesting that Meme does not have 30 exes who are fucktwats? I would suggest, in fact, that this greater population from which she took the random sample would be a far larger number than 30.
I know mine would.
definitely well over 30 fucktwats…and counting.
Here’s the problem with the first equation. “Girls require time and money.” That is not “time x money” it’s “time + money.” Anyone who has taken an algebra or spanish class should know that. So, the whole rest of the equation doesn’t work.
Apparently, someone already figured that out on your link. Nevermind.
Um, being a liberal arts kind of guy, I really don’t understand all of these scientific terms. Standard deviation, for example. I mean, if I have a significant relationship with a life-size inflatable doll, does that make me a standard deviant or non-standard?
And is there any reason why a guy can’t take his life-size inflatable doll out to dinner in a nice restaurant without everyone staring?
Even the gas station guy–I went down there to use the air hose to fill ‘er up, he said “Hey, you can’t do that here.” Sigh…
ha, girls are evil-how elementary school of him
(Okay, okay, I wanna change my answer.)
Hey Meme, based on my own experience, it occurs to me that you could be exaggerating just a bit. My wife does the same thing.
For example, she can’t get over the fact that I shot her father. He didn’t die or anything. I mean, some guy comes walking into my living room in a disguise, damn straight I’m going to shoot him. Its like, just because its a Christmas eve party and he’s dressed up like Santa, I’m suppoesd to know that he’s not there to steal the television. I mean, can we move on?
And, she’s still pissed about the time that I burned her mother’s house down. I was trying to get rid of termites, for chrissake.
As far as her diary goes, I mean it was sitting right there… beneath a pile of clothes in her drawer, and well, the little lock on it wasn’t very substantial, and it kind of just came open, and since I read fast it only took an hour or so to read it, and like, well, what’s the issue here?
Of course, to hear her tell it, its like some big deal or something. So, people do exaggerate.
Personally, I’d vote for Bachelor No. 3. If you guys could skip the kissing phase and get straight to oral sex, there would be less of an emotional entanglement and less likelihood that Bachelor No. 3 would get his heart broken. Poor guy. I think he could use some of Bachelor No. 4’s meds. That, plus a few drinks. Then go driving really fast. In lots of traffic.
Wow. Meme’s sexy AND brainy. Sweet.
I would personally like to buy ALL of my ex-BFs medication. God knows they need it.
meme, you are just a fucktwat magnet. there are ok guys out there, you just haven’t found one yet. i think all the fucktwats must have some kind of msg board where you are a long running thread. these fuckers can’t get enough of you. i’ve said it before, and i’ll say it again, come down here and hang at the beach for a while. i’m ok if you don’t mind a little drool now and then, and that’s only when i forget to breath through my nose.
jr
haha…. cool your horses girls - the proof is not mine and It is both built on incorrect premises as well as poor logic.
Shhh, Steve! We’re trying to get some grant money to study this shit! Do you know how much wine that will buy?!
Steve, many a relationship I’ve had was based on incorrect premises as well as poor logic. I take NO blame.