Hell is for Children
Stamped: December 18th, 2006 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: mom, moods, neuroses.
All this talk of exes and breakups and being non-attached has really got me thinking:
Is it possible to dump your mother? I know this isn't exactly in the spirit of the holiday season and all, but I'm really at my wit's end with my own mom. And, I'm sure I'm not the only one out there feeling this pain. So my logic has brought me here. Is breaking up with your mom possible, and, if so, how would one go about such a thing?
Let's just run with the premise for a moment and presume that this maternal divorce were possible. What do you think the most common "line" would be?
It's just not working out?
I've met another mom…?
You're a raging, selfish bitch?
I'll just post about you on my blog and hope you read it and get the hint…?
And then, once the barrier is broken, how would things be afterward? I mean, would there be visitation rights for family pets? How would the old furniture be split…I mean, I know I didn't buy that bedroom set, but I have used it for like, most my life. Is that kind of thing going to fly? Even if I can prove that she's maniacal? How about the lawyers? Would I still get the $399 deal from that guy in the stripmall?
Is it even going to be possible to remain friends? How the hell are we going to act at family parties? Do I lose that entire half of the family when I split with her? Because, I mean, I kind of like my brother quite a bit. It'd be a shame to have to lose him in the mix…
I mean, I'm obviously just fishing around here, because, as usual, I propose more questions than answers for you all. But I can't help but think that this type of scenario would be possible. I just need to be able to shake this undying guilt complex despite my valiant efforts to patch up something that is quite ready for the scrap heap. So, yeah. If any of you think you've got the cure for that one, lay it on me. Muchos grassy-ass and all those pleasantries.
PS. I found that picture on truechristian.com. I couldn't help myself.
Last 5 posts by Jenna
- peace out, my lovlies - June 8th, 2007
- bringing sexy back - May 28th, 2007
- I'm no James Woods - May 21st, 2007
- fellow commuters: grunt! - May 14th, 2007
- No, no I don't. - May 7th, 2007
well, if your mom knows about girlspoke, it’s a done deal, the heart to heart or the breakup is inevitable.
jr
What I want to know is, between the two of you, who gets the alimony?
(Just to satisfy my intellectual curiosity, I have a call in to my own attorney, who also happens to be a $399 strip mall attorney. He says he can’t call me back until the week after next, because his license to practice law will be reinstated by that time. I guess I’ll just have to wait.)
My mom reads girlspoke and I STILL can’t get rid of her.
Damn straight girlie! And Jenna, if your Mom can’t take it, I’ll be your Mom. After all, if I can deal with Meme, well I’m a f**king saint, right?
Mom, what did I say about leaving comments?
I should pass this post along to my better half. Given that her mom and her pretty much butt heads most the time, I would say she is ready for the divorce. Heck, I would even help her pay for the lawyer, though likely would have to be the mall guy too. This is definitely something that many out there face.