McNaughty, McNugget, Mc-shut-the-fuck-up
Stamped: January 15th, 2007 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: children, internet stuff, just plain stupid.
It's a mildly cold and drizzly Dr. King day here in New York and even though I planned on sleeping in I was woken by the shrill screams of the upstairs neighbor's child having a tantrum. It's bad enough that they have seemingly installed what sounds to me like a bowling alley or it could be simply that they like to rub butter on their hands and play catch with bowling balls. Enough about that.
So when I looked out the window and saw the grey cloudy skies much like the past few days I shrugged and pouted. Again? Ugh. See, I've been waiting to catch a glimpse of that comet, McNaught, or whatever. But with these clouds ain't nothing but yuck out there. I want to see the comet, dammit.
After checking the forecast on weather.com I searched around the internets for info on the comet to see how long it would be sticking around. Which is when I came across an article on Space.com…
But Comet McNaught is now also visible to armchair astronomers via images posted to the Internet from the Solar and Heliospheric Observatory (SOHO) spacecraft. And beginning next week, it will head rapidly south and likely become a spectacle for skywatchers in the Southern Hemisphere.
First of all, that sucks because weather.com is not predicting clear skies until Wednesday and by then it'll only be visible in the southern hemisphere or something. And secondly, how lame is it that people are experiencing it via images posted to the internet? That's like saying, "I totally saw two chicks going at it for hours last night," when in fact you had just spent 3 lonely hours on pornotube. People, let me be the first person to tell you…the internet does not replace real life. If you didn't see it with your own eyes it doesn't count. Got that?
Holy crap, now they're playing Dora the Explorer at full volume. Maybe I could pretend that the bowling ball sounds emanating from upstairs are meteors hitting my neighbors, preferably the small screaming one. But then again I would only be able to experience it via sounds from my ceiling. Good enough.
Last 5 posts by Meme
- Mama don't Preach - May 18th, 2007
- You don't have to Fuck Me twice to get the point across - May 11th, 2007
- Update: Newsworthy? - May 4th, 2007
- Nipples, Pasties and Lesbians - April 27th, 2007
- Vagina! - April 20th, 2007
Meme, honey, if I didn’t accept the Internet as equivalent to real life… I’d be sitting in my apartment complaining about bowling and tantrum noise, with no one to complain to.
Now can I please get the specific link to the two chicks going at it for 3 hours?
Hey Meme,
Comet? What comet? Its all fake. There never was a moon landing. They staged the whole thing on a sound stage in Arizona. I know this. My soon to be former in-laws live in Arizona, and they know someone who knew someone… It was staged, and all of the NASA money went to buy guns for people in South America. Same thing with the comet. They say one’s going to strike the earth, and so they need to build this super laser shooting cannon or something. Its all hype.
Which gets me to the subject at hand. Pornotube. I mean, like oh my god, who knew? I’m at work, and knowing there’d be some risk I followed the link. After closing my door and piling boxes and boxes behind it. Of course, you click on a movie and this male voice comes on really loud, saying “Put your tongue right here.” And its like, geez, did the secretary hear that? Couldn’t it at least have been a female voice, so as not to give the wrong impression?
Ooops. Not enough boxes. More later.
Okay, I’m back.
Regarding Pornotube again: first, I’m glad to see the site is secure enough so that the average 13 year old can’t easily log onto it. There’s this thing where you have to enter your birthdate. Just to see what would happen, I entered 1993. I was denied access. So I entered 1983 and immediately got in. What 13 year old is going to figure that one out?
On to the videos. Is it unreasonable to ask that, if you are going to get naked and let someone videotape you putting someone else’s thing in your mouth, that you at least pretend that you are enjoying it? A little? Of course, if someone (at 110 decibels) is commanding that you put your tongue “here,” well, I can see how that can be kind of a damper. Which calls to mind the whole ugly debate–head pushing: yes or no?
Better quit or get more boxes.
I’m really glad this wasn’t a post bashing McDreamy.
la fille, you could probably spend 3 hours searching on pornotube and get the same useless satisfaction. Takes me only about 3 minutes and I’m done.
Dan, you of all people should not be talking smack about pornotube.
Jenna, I was totally gonna write about McDreamy but I couldn’t figure out how to work in a hot doctor with loud neighbors and a stupid comet. That’s something you’re better at.
Well, I shouldn’t have to bring my sound engineer along to work so that I can furtively watch a 3 minute porn video without somebody beeping me and saying “Hey Dan, did someone in your office just say ‘Put your tongue here?’” Whatever happened to just being obscene and not heard?
But more importantly… Dr. McDreamy? I’ve not seen a reference to Dr. McDreamy on this site, but since Jenna suggests that you bash him, and since you characterize him as totally hot, I can reasonably assume that this is someone with whom you have an approach avoidance thing going on.
Jenna, can we get some more input here?
And Jenna, do you play drums?
ahh, pornotube. haven’t been there for a while, since the last time it was mentioned here. remember the coke can, meme? still there, along with a pepsi can. crazy stuff, literally.
jr
Wait, wait….lemme set this straight, Dan. I do not condone a McDreamy bashing. He’s my imaginary boyfriend. Well, him and George. Even my real boyfriend knows about this arrangement. It’s working out well for everyone involved.
And, no, sadly I do not play drums. But I pretend to. I can come and pretend to play drums in your office if you want. I can at least make enough noise to filter out your porn-watching, since you apparently do not know how to operate the volume control on your computer.
Um, there’s a volume control on this thing?
Okay, I get it. I thought Dr. McDreamy was Meme’s imaginery boyfriend. Now I understand that in addition to bashing her own ex’s, she apparently bashes her friend’s (imaginery) boyfriends. Does your imaginery boyfriend know that Meme bashes him?
If Dr. McDreamy tolerates your other imaginery boyfriend, George, well, my hat’s off to him. Sounds truly like an early 00’s metrosexual kind of guy.
I pretend to play keyboards once in a while. Let’s start an imaginery band.
Dan
“how lame is it that people are experiencing it via images posted to the internet? That’s like saying, “I totally saw two chicks going at it for hours last night,” when in fact you had just spent 3 lonely hours on pornotube. People, let me be the first person to tell you…the internet does not replace real life. If you didn’t see it with your own eyes it doesn’t count. Got that?”
i love you so much right now. i always know i’m spending too much time online when i start to live other people’s lives and they live at least a day of travelling away.
:)
i’ve just found this blog and i’m so coming back!