Stamped: January 18th, 2007 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: around town, internet stuff.
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So, you haven't exactly been flooding my inbox with concerned and worried emails. It's ok. I know how to read your silence. That's why I'm here; because I don't want you to fret any longer. I've been on a brief hiatus, and my story can be heard here. It's a long tale, full of stormy nights and dangerous creatures, but it's important that you all know the truth. Even more important? That you consider this post to be humorous…so humorous, in fact, that you disregard the fact that I can't really take credit for much of the humor.
So, with that, rest assured that I shall return next week. And by "rest assured" I mean, get wildly excited. If you could jump up and down a little, that would be nice. It's ok, no one is watching.
Last 5 posts by Jenna
I’m looking for my leopard
Jenna,
I represent a consortium of concerned readers, and by our count we’ve sent you 1,114 concerned e-mails and 2,097 worried e-mails. And this was just in the past 2 days. Better check your spam folder. Most of the 1,114 concerned e-mails started with something like “Jenna, where the hell are you?” followed by an advert for Viagara. The worried e-mails just had photo attachments of horny naked people, no particular redeeming social value. But, you click on the photo and we download really cool spyware and adware onto your hard drive. So, don’t say no one cares about you. We care!
The leopard video is funny as hell. But just what do they mean by “7 Seconds of Love?” I mean, it doesn’t really take that long. Does it?
And finally, can one intentionally rest “assured?” I mean, when I rest, I’m snoring and slobbering, with the occasional erection. (Its twue, its twue, most men get erections while they are sleeping, about 6 times a night. Its kind of nature’s penis maintenance routine.) Don’t know how assuredness fits into all of this. I still wear jammies with the little feet attached to the legs, so my feet don’t get cold when I have to get up at night. Maybe this means that I have confidence and assuredness, or maybe I’m just an infantile dweeb. Dunno.