Stamped: March 5th, 2007 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: birthdays suck, events, fun, holiday hijinks, lists, things i ♥.

Yep, I'm one of those that proclaims, every year–with glee!–my birthday. So that time has come again and you are all here to suffer through it. It's officially my birthday week (screw the just-one-day philosophy).

The thing of it is that there are so many of you out there that couldn't give two craps about your own personal birthdays, and maybe even that of others. And I'm here to say that I totally don't get you. Me? Yeah, I get me. But you? Not so much.

The way I see it is that your birthday (week) is the one time of the year when you have every reason to be in a good mood. I'll lay it out there right now that I totally don't buy into the whole "but I'm getting OLDER!" crap. Old schmold. You're as old as you feel, always. I mean, unless you're rapidly approaching life expectancy, you have no reason to fear aging unless you're completely vain.*

But back to the good mood thing…

Your birthday (week) means at least all of the following:

1. People are guaranteed to be nice to you (if you tell them it's your b-day, hence my annual proclamations). And these niceties can include getting out of work & obligations, massages, verbal compliments, sexual favors, entertainment, flowers, and sometimes kittens.

2. You can eat cake and not feel like a fat ass. Well, unless you are actually a fat ass. But in that case, you still get to eat cake. And cake is fucking delicious. Especially if it's pink. Or RED VELVET!

3. Presents! C'mon. Even if you're the hippiest of hippies and have completely disavowed yourself from commerical, capitalist society, you appreciate the occasional friendship bracelet, don't you? And even if people don't get you something, they'll probably feel guilty about it, which you can fully work to your advantage. And that's not even getting into what you can do when they forget the day completely.

4. Alcohol. For free. Does that need further explanation?

All that being said, I'll wrap things up here with a reminder…it's my BIRTHDAY WEEK. Please commence any of the aforementioned pleasantries, as I will be sure to do the same when your time-of-the-year rolls around. If I remember, that is.

*Someone please shove this in my face when I turn 30 in a few years and start to do the whole I'm 29 AGAIN! thing.

Last 5 posts by Jenna

• peace out, my lovlies - June 8th, 2007
• bringing sexy back - May 28th, 2007
• I'm no James Woods - May 21st, 2007
• fellow commuters: grunt! - May 14th, 2007
• No, no I don't. - May 7th, 2007