Stamped: March 7th, 2007 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: body parts, dress up, internet stuff, just plain stupid.
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One of my fellow bloggers, Elvis, at the Vibrator blog wrote a post today about a product called the Whizzinator.
The Whizzinator:
"…is a prosthetic penis filled with ‘clean’ urine and looks every bit like a sex toy…[it] is worn like a belt under the pants and is so real in appearance that it is only exposed if testers demand that you ‘drop 'em’, revealing the attaching part of the device around the waist. And it has reached a level of sophistication that would do any sex shop proud, with a range of skin-colour types to match including white, black, latino etc. Going price is about $150."
I thought I'd add the price in there for interested parties. Fucking brilliant.
Of course this led me on a quest for freakier products.
Oh, and freaky they got. Check this out:
The SenSlip is a very flexible garment for the penis. It is available in Caucasian Pink and now in a Mid-Brown color. 
The SenSlip is individually packaged in a re-sealable medical packet, and is supplied in packs of five in any one size. Each SenSlip is designed to keep its shape, consistency and appearance for up to ten days, and is hand washable. I'm terribly concerned.
The SenSlip is worn on the penis throughout the day, protecting the glans and remaining exposed foreskin from chafing and the elements. Constructed and anatomically formed from the thinnest and finest pre-vulcanised latex and microscopic viscose rayon fibres, the SenSlip has an inner and outer rolling layer to allow natural retraction to expose the glans for urination or cleaning. Like a natural foreskin the SenSlip is specially designed to stay in place all day (it weighs as much as a tissue), and of course it is seamless.
I wonder if many men out there have an issue with being cut? And so much so that they would wear a fake foreskin. Isn't that not unlike a girl stuffing her bra with tissue? What happens when you're afraid to tell a woman you're wearing the thingy and you get lucky? Is there a possible choking hazard?
Last 5 posts by Meme
Where the real beef?
Oh my God! This is my worst nightmare. I used to wear these Senslip things. It was track and field day at college, I was doing a practice lap, proud of my new found ability to actually have that part of my anatomy bounce around a little. Of course, midway through the 220 it fell off, out of my shorts, and onto the track. And a little kid runs and picks it up and says “Mr., you lost your penis!” Do you have any idea how loudly little kids can yell? I did the only thing I could do–I kept running. I think I did about 28 miles that day.
I thought I’d give it a second chance. I tried stronger glue. The people at the emergency room were really nice, once they stopped laughing. They suggested a more user-friendly glue.
Fortunately, the new version of this thing (well, it is a thing, isn’t it?) is seamless as advertised. It wasn’t always so. And of course, try to explain the seam to the girl you just met at closing time when you were too drunk to remember to head into the bathroom and take the thing off before you headed out to the back seat of the car.
Girl (slightly drunk, feeling seam): My, what an odd place for a scar. What happened?
Guy (drunker, thinking as fast as .18 will allow): Um, er, well… I guess I took some shrapnel when we invaded Grenada in ‘85. Damn thing never did heal up.
Girl: Ooh, you’re a veteran.
Guy: Yeah, the VA’s done all it can.
They’re machine washable, too. I just threw mine into the laundry bag with the rest of my shirts and dropped them off at the cleaners on the way to work. Of course, there was a long line of people waiting behind me, and the woman behind the counter who was counting the shirts had to ask “Do you want your penises startched? And boxed or on hangers?” Haven’t thought of a good response just yet, but I’m working on it.
***
I don’t think much of the Whizzinator filled with urine. They don’t work. A girlfriend of mine had one. She was pulled over on suspicion of DWI once. She demaned the urine test and they took her to a hospital to give a sample. In the toilet, under observation, she pulled the Whizzinator out of her fly and tried to fake it. They spotted it as a fake right away. I think the problem was that she had the black one and she was Chinese. Color mismatch.