Stamped: March 12th, 2007 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: just plain stupid, neuroses.

This is not a confession. I am not embarrassed.

However, I feel that I am obligated to disclose this to you all. This way, the next time we meet and have a conversation, you will have no right to offer such comments as, "Ummm…that was weird…."

The fact of the matter is that I'm the lyrics girl. It's just what I do. I make no apologies. If you happen to say something that coincides directly or indirectly with the lyrics of a song, be it rock, rap, or freaking bluegrass, I will immediately sing those lyrics. For example,

Scene: Restaurant. Young, smokin' couple perusing the lunch menu on a relaxing Sunday afternoon.

You: Man, I'm jonesin' for a beer.
Me: [lovingly, motherly, perhaps] But you're getting fat.
You: You're not the boss of me!
Me: [singing] you're not the boss of me, now! you're not the boss of me, now, and you're not so big!
You: Why would you do that? [looking at his partner with mild disgust and confusion]

My gut reaction is not to explain it, or restrict this behavior with a definition. But perhaps you have some questions? Well, the answer, invariably, is likely a solid yes.

Yes, I still sing if I can't hit the notes.
Yes, I still sing if I'm with someone I hardly know.
Yes, I will type the lyrics if the conversation is happening online.

In fact, let's just do this. Here's my contract. Got a pen?

Upon willingly entering into conversation with me, you now know to expect this sudden, sometimes inconvenient and often inappropriate, outburst. You surrender the right to remark on said behavior in a derrogatory manner [see Example]. If any commentary must be made, it shall be along the lines of you're-so-funny or I'm-laughing-with-you. After said interruption, the conversation shall continue as normal, and it shall be frowned upon to redirect the conversation to anything related to the song or lyrics that have just been sung. Any breach of these terms may result in foul language, silent treatment, and/or bodily injury.

It's just part of the package, baby. You get it all. (Or nothing at all...)

PS. Automatic enrollment in Jenna's cool club for anyone that can tell me the artist responsible for the lyrics in this post's title (without Googling, you cheaters.)

Last 5 posts by Jenna

• peace out, my lovlies - June 8th, 2007
• bringing sexy back - May 28th, 2007
• I'm no James Woods - May 21st, 2007
• fellow commuters: grunt! - May 14th, 2007
• No, no I don't. - May 7th, 2007