Stamped: March 29th, 2007 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: sex talk.

I like to think that as far as wives go I’m pretty stellar. Not Pamela Anderson or Jenna Jameson (or the chic in this pic stellar), but stellar in my own right.
1. I clean (rather good).
2. I cook (rather good).
3. I haven’t given up on my looks merely because I birthed a few spawn
4. I constantly make my husband laugh (both with and at me)
5. I love football.
6. I am a lover of sexuality.
(plus I'm good to him and thoughtful and blah, blah, blah….)

It is numero sex six that has prompted my post for today (inspired by Adrie's post about porn, which subsequently took me to Meme’s post about Porncasting, which subsequently took me to the throws of joyous masturbation. Thanks ladies!!).

Like Meme and Adrie I do enjoy porn. LOVE it! But I am picky. I don’t like the scripted shitty acting porn where actresses wear too much make-up and cheap plastic stripper shoes. I love amateur porn. I tend to lean more towards lesbian porn, but if there is moaning, groaning and a good pounding by a man I’m certainly not going to turn it off. I think my husband was initially shocked by my pornication. Of the two of us he was the more sexually shy and morally sound. By the time he and I got married, I had had more than a handful of lovers, my first lesbian experience, a couple of threesomes, one groupie thing, marriage and a kid. More or less in that order. He, eh hem, was a virgin. Naturally, I scared the shit out of him with my wild ways.

In the beginning of our marriage, as is the case with most marriages, we fucked like bunnies. Only back then we called it “making love”. We were too impassioned by newly wedded bliss to dare trash up our love life by using the word “fuck” to describe sex. We grew out of that stage by the end of the first year.

It is surprising how long it took for me to get my husband to come out of his sexual shell. Lack of overall experience and a screwed up mentality brought on by some of the things his mother told him about sex really set him back, physically and emotionally with regards to sexual behavior. It’s been a slow journey, but he’s definitely come a long way. I’ve introduced porn and toys and fantasies. For years I’ve even told him that for his 30th birthday I would bring another girl into our bedroom so he could experience another woman. He adamantly refused to partake in such debauchery. But come on. He can’t go through life being with only one person, even if that person is me in all my awesomeness. Truth is, envisioning him with another woman while I watch is a huge turn on for me. Like a lot of fantasies, however, I’m not sure I could really go through with it (at least not while sober). I think I would always battle the self defeating wonder complex: I wonder if he liked her better than me? I wonder if she really was better than me? Did she make him feel things I can’t? Does he like her tits better because they’re still in the northern hemisphere? GAH!!! Did he fall in love with her? You know, all the typical female emotional bullshit. Still it’s nice to think about and since I have done such things in the past, who knows, maybe I will follow through. And notice I stated the he “had adamantly refused”. That’s right, “had”. He doesn’t outright refuse like he used to and in fact he often jokes around about it. Guess we’ll find out this one plays out come August 22.

I do think that for a married couple of nearly eight years and having kids we fair pretty well in the sex department. At the very least we still enjoy sex with one another. My (and likely his) only complaint would be that my libido has slowed drastically. I used to want it every day, all day, all the time, whereas he did not. It was a bizarre role reversal definitely. But, somehow, over the years, we’ve switched to the standard female/male libido driven roles.

Every so often we still like to spice things up. In fact, I think I may have hit a new benchmark in wife standards a couple of weeks ago. My husband is a tech guy and loves all things computer and/or gaming. In the past year his obsession has been playing Guitar Hero. I enjoy it, too, but he has bona fide love for the game. We’ve even held GH parties at our house. Yah, we’re geeks. Get over it. Anyway, one night when he was enjoying the intoxicated bliss brought on by his love of crown & coke he started playing Guitar Hero. He loves his crown. He loves his GH. He was truly in a happy spot. Being the gracious wife that I am I wondered what could possibly make his night any better. That’s when it hit me: I could give him head, while he played.

Oh yah. While the husband stood there rockin’ out to, of all things, the song “Cherry Pie”, I yanked down his pants and bestowed upon him yet another one of his loves. Before you ask, yes, I was in rhythm to the music and not only that, but for added oral bliss I hummed along. It was a truly magical moment for the guy and, in his eyes at least, it most definitely catapulted me into a whole new realm of “awesome wife”. He would never boast about it, though. He’s still too shy and in fact, will likely flip his shit when he sees that I’ve posted about it. In my defense, he knows me well enough to know that I keep very few sexual things to myself. I’ve never shied away from sexual and/or perverse subject matters. Unfortunately, that means that occasionally he’s subject to feeling exploited. But, please. He likes it. I know this because my being more liberated, even in just talking about sex, has definitely liberated him and introduced him to his naughty boy side. The naughty boy side rocks (we both agree to that)! Nevertheless, I do have a feeling that for the rest of his life he’ll probably turn twenty shades of red any time he hears that song. Either that or I’ll have to perform every time it’s played it because it’ll induce some sort of Pavlov like conditioning. And in the right company, that could turn very interesting.

Last 5 posts by JB

• Happy Anniversary - June 21st, 2007
• decision 2007: dildo fantasies vs. honesty - June 14th, 2007
• Intermission - June 7th, 2007
• Yoni, up close and personal - May 31st, 2007
• My friend Karma - May 24th, 2007