Stamped: April 11th, 2007 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: Burt Reynolds, complaint dept., moustaches, rant, waxing.

Dear Ignorant Cow,

I understand about having to make a living - I really do. I also get that when you own a teeny salon whose clientele is mostly made up of teens; you don't have the opportunity to make a lot of cash seeing as how they probably have no lunch money left to offer as a tip once they've had their acrylic claws attached. Because of that, I can also get ones urge to try to extort extra money out of the well dressed hotties that do come in, but if you're gonna try to milk some do-lo out of a gal, how about havin' some couth??

When I walk into a salon for an eyebrow wax and specifically request ONLY an eyebrow wax, I would prefer not to be told about all of the other parts that YOU feel should be waxed. If you're going to run down a list of your services in hopes that I will bite - that's fine - can't blame ya' for trying, but if you're going to try to break me down by makin' me feel ugly? Then be prepared to have a strip torn out of you… no pun intended. Really.

Note the overpriced shoes and bag and great perfume that doesn't smell like that of a cheap hooker. Also note the groomed nails, perfectly maintained highlights and the little compact that slips from my purse as I rest it on the seat next to me. I have a mirror. I take care of myself. And while I do grow hair in unwanted places like everyone else - I DO NOT HAVE A MUSTACHE!!! It is clear that I keep myself well-groomed, so don't ya' think I would know if a mustache??

If you want me to spend more money in your salon; tell me about great new products, offer to touch up my manicure or tell me that you do facials, but DO NOT ask me if I want my upper lip waxed and then proceed to trail your fingers along the skin above my lip and down the sides as though caressing a handlebar mustache!! I am not Burt-fucking-Reynolds you shyster cunt. And when I say "no thank you"; I suggest you leave it at that as opposed to throwing your proper terminology out the window with your tact. Replacing the term "upper lip" with "mustache" and using it several times in a 2 minute span in hopes that it will somehow wear me down enough to agree to a full fucking face and body wax is NOT a good idea.

Warning: today; a rant about a nameless esthetician. Tommorow; a full page write up in the local paper complete with your picture; you rude bush-pig.

Thank you.

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