Stamped: June 20th, 2007 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: emergency, ovaries, playing doctor, thank you.

Thank you to the friendly triage nurse who didn't forget how much pain ovaries can actually cause and for seeing past my fake smile and nervous laugh to the excrutiating pain that I was trying to hide in fear of looking weak, or even worse–not pretty. It was nice to be placed in priority for this insane pain when other nurses have been too self invoved in the past to take notice of these things.

Thank you cranky lady at the cafeteria (which was really just a Tim Horton's kiosk) for taking a sec to stop stuffing your sour face long enough to serve me my much needed coffee. Much like a junkie in a need of a fix; I will be grateful to my pusher no matter how horrible a person you are. That coffee nursed me through the next 2 hours and gave me what I needed to keep from slapping the jackass in front of me who was talking loudly and acting like a turd with no respect for the sick people around him.

Thank you most of all to the good looking doctor who made my exam worthwhile without even trying. I was dying of embarrassement inside because I much prefer a female or unattractive male doctor for this sort of thing, but you were so sweet and kind and professional (even though deep down I was already playing "dirty doctor" with you in the depths of my mind and aching loins and hoping that you'd wanna play too) Thank you even more for managing to distract me from the horrific pain as you undid my jeans for me while I just laid there watching you with my face turning a hundred shades of pink. It gave me somethin' sexy to play back in my mind while I was being butchered by the cow who took my blood moments later.

I will even thank said cow, because even though you somehow managed to drip my blood on my upper arm, the sheets and the floor as well as leave a bruise the size of an orange–you were also the same person who gave me Percocet. Yummy, yummy Percocet. Mind you; you made fun of me for asking if the pill would knock me out as I had not eaten in almost 48 hours and laughed my question off as though I was an idiot, yet my words were slurring by the time I arrived home and within minutes I fell asleep sitting up on the sofa with a coffee in hand. Even in spite of all of that, I still thank you for doing the job that you do… even if you do lack bedside manner and basic coordination that might have made for a smoother blood-sucking experience.

Thank you to everyone at the hospital I spent Tuesday morning at. I won't name it in fear of this being held against me when I go in for my ultra sound today, but you know who you are.

Last 5 posts by Adrie

• To Fuck Like A Man - January 17th, 2008
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