Stamped: July 20th, 2007 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: being single, blue balls, cry for help, dating hijinks, heartbreak, just plain stupid, nsa sex, online dating, sex talk.
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I've been trying to figure out whether or not a woman can sleep with man that she is attracted to on many levels without getting too attached and setting herself up for disappointment.
I'll be the first to admit (confirm) that you can enjoy a purely sexual relationship with someone no matter how ol’ school you may be when it comes to dating and relationships. There is this chemical thing that can happen upon meeting someone that just sets your loins a blazin’ and cannot be denied. These are the men who stir something in you on a very primitive, animal level making you not care about details such as interests, marital status or even name. You can't really explain it and there is little time to try because the clothes are flying off and legs are being thrust up over his shoulders too quickly for you to say or even think anything.
Purely sexual relationships can be amazing if both people are totally upfront from day one. There's something to be said about enjoying each others bodies and not worrying about where things will go. You're free to truly enjoy the sex when you know and accept that things won't go beyond the toe-curling, sheet-dampening, screaming like a banshee good time — and that's ok. You know that you're extremely attracted to each other on a physical level, but that's it. No fuss. No muss.
What about when you're dealing with someone who you actually do care (at least a little) about? Someone whom you admire on certain levels, who peaks your curiosity? Someone who you once wished you could have more with but are painfully aware that it is not in the cards, yet are so aroused by physically that you can barely concentrate at times? Is it worth it to give in to the all-consuming lust? Or is this a disaster waiting to happen?
There are those back up guys that you can call for sex, who leave you feeling a little… empty? I'm not talkin' small penis here, but instead, someone who comes over when you're in the mood for something more than a vibrator, who you can no longer stand the sight of once you’re done. Let's face it; guys aren't the only ones who have it in them to kick someone out the moment they relieve their tension and get what they want! It's those guys and those times that make me wonder if maybe it wouldn't be more gratifying to have a booty-call that you actually do care a little more about so that you can enjoy the afterglow for a few minutes without dreading the inevitable onset of repulsion.
Boy, it is hard bein' a woman in this day and age. Years ago it was clear that sex was not an option till marriage and I for one still see the romance in that–to an extent.
What to do, what to do…
When you can't seem to keep your panties dry for more than a minute at a time and your lips, breasts and clit are swellling to troublesome proportions; isn't it worth the risk to be able to get what you want from someone that you know without a doubt will satisfy you like no other?? Even if it could mean a little heartbreak down the road?
I love all your comments as it is, but this time I'm really counting on you all to have a say and tell me what you think: can a woman really have NSA sex with someone that she is VERY sexually attracted to, but also admires and cares for on a deeper level? And when I say "VERY physically attracted to", I mean in an all-consuming, walking around in a permanent state of damp arousal, attracted to.
Tell me what ya’ think. Please.
Last 5 posts by Adrie
NSA Sex and the Good Girl
WOW! What a pic! Are those your lips???
NSA sex with someone you care about. I have been doing that for the past six months or so and it is pure joy and pure pain at the same time.
It started out as a fling. We met at a friend’s place to a little private party, he mixed the drinks, we got drunk pretty soon. And not that much later we occupied the bathroom for three hours straight only leaving to mooch some more condoms off the others.
But now six months later I know that he is a nice guy, has a good taste is books and music, enjoys Horror movies and even plays some of the games I like. I see him often, we have sex often, but he also has a girlfriend. And I know even if I manage to snatch him from her he wouldn’t be able to stay faithful anyway.
I can’t stop thinking about him, even hearing his voice on the phone makes me wet. But I know that he will never be mine, not completely at least. He will never be boyfriend material.
It hurts, but I don’t want to loose what few I am having with him. So I am putting up with the pain and enjoy myself to the fullest when I do get to see him again. In the end it is worth it, even though it will lead to only disaster and trouble.
i think any woman with a really keen sense of what’s good for her would never get into a situation like that, because some good dick really doesn’t override the pain of not being able to have someone that you want on an emotional level too. the concept of fuck buddies is great, but for most all women it’s just not worth it, because once a guy sees you as a warm body and little more, he’s probably gonna go with the “can’t make a ho into a housewife” mentality- at least that’s what i’ve found.
so if you can completely disconnect the physical lovin’ from the mental love (which some of us can actually do) then i just don’t think it’s worth it.. not to say that that doesn’t stop me sometimes, but i know that i shouldn’t, and i’d never recommend that any of my girlfriends go down that road.
I’ve been there before. There was a guy who I’d lusted over, and wanted for mine for quite a long time and A few years later, we ran into each other and started hooking up.
I ended up wishing I’d left well enough alone at my little crush. Not so much because it made me want him more, but because doing that showed me who he really was. I would have taken a forever of my infatuation over the much less appealing reality that I was shown when we actually started hooking up.
Yeah, the sex was great, but wasn’t worth it for me.
once feelings get involved, i don’t think strings can be avoided…
but if you’re realistic about things and honest with yourself, i do think you can limit the amount of emotional involvement…and thereby, lessen the pain…
feelings get crushed when the heart tells you there is more there when your head knows there isn’t…
I am not sure it’s possible to enjoy someone on both levels and keep it simple. It seems to me that when you have mind-blowing sex that culminates in an hour or so of cuddling followed by more sex and more cuddling the cuddling part begins the process of forming an attachment (there is neurological evidence to support this) and attachment is where things start going south. The more times you experience the kind of tryst that we all want and enjoy the more it reinforces the attachment. Kind of an orgasmic catch-22 if you will. Check out Social Intelligence by Danial Goleman for a much better explanation…
To Nat:
YES! Those are indeed my lucious lips thank you very much!
To Michael:
I have to agree with you, which is why I believe in the “No cuddling” and “Nothing romantic or mushy” rule when it comes to casual/NSA sex. It’s a shame that the other half of this equation is a romantic cuddler… by nature… nothin’ to do with his feelings for the woman in question
Thanks to all who take the time to comment! I luv you guys!!
xo