Stamped: August 22nd, 2007 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: being single, commitment issues, complaint dept., forbidden pussy, life lessons, relationships, sins, trouser snakes.

I need to know what it is about meeting someone who sets your heart and loins aflutter that automatically makes all other men want you too. Seriously, you spend months…years, playing solo with no worthy man in sight, but the second you meet one and make the decision to commit; all of a sudden you have a line up of suitors at your door—good ones at that! What the f#ck??

It’s as if their coming out of the woodwork for f#ck’ sake! Two years in this building and only in the last couple of weeks have I seen this handful of hotties that have been stopping to chat as we walk our dogs or go pick up the mail. Where were they before?? And at the grocery store? Now they have the gusto to approach and ask me for my number and a date? Come on!! As fabulous as my tan looks; I think it’s more the scent of forbidden pussy that is wafting past and bringin’ em’ in.

It isn’t even just that more guys seem to want you, but you also end up running into ones that you wanted once upon a time, even more than a new pair of Manolo’s on the 75 percent-off table! Seriously. I have run into two men from my past this week who I used to lust after in the most inappropriate way. It makes me think that God is throwing temptation my way to see if I’ll bite and misbehave. To that I say:

Hi God. It’s me, Adrie.
Thank you for all the eye-candy that you have sent my way as of late. With all due repsect; I know what you’re trying to do, but it’s not gonna work. Just cuz’ Eve was weak enough to cave doesn’t mean that I’m going to. So, feel free to send along all the loincloth-clad Adams you want, cuz’ I’m ready for them and all of their firm, juicy, delicious apples. You can throw in a snake too, cuz’ no matter how long and persuasive; I will not be swayed to take a bite no matter how satisfying and scrumptious it may seem.

Now if you will excuse me; I have to go get a napkin and splash some water on my seat. Oops! Face!! I meant my face!

Last 5 posts by Adrie

• To Fuck Like A Man - January 17th, 2008
• A Momentary Lapse In Judgement - January 7th, 2008
• Lying To The Girl You Fuck. Fa la la la la - December 21st, 2007
• Piss Off! - December 6th, 2007
• Kiss Me I'm A "Stewardess" - November 5th, 2007