Stamped: January 31st, 2008 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: about us, bullshit advice, comedy, complaint dept., dating hijinks.

Dear Men Who Date and Aspire to Date Model Behavior,

Question: Do you think I wear stiletto boots over my jeans and a sexy lace underwear when going about my normal daily activities like grocery shopping, trekking through the city’s sleet storm, and sprinting between appointments?

Do you think I’m magically manicured and waxed all the time because I’m addicted to pain and have an emotional connection with my non-English speaking manicurist from Taiwan?

No. No, you probably do not. Because hopefully if I’m attempting to date you you’re not THAT stupid.

Why then, do men seem to think its okay to plan dates giving me two hours or even twenty minutes notice?

This is unacceptable.

Example: Saturday I received a phone call from a gentleman I’d actually like to see. The man had a plan – big dinner with mutual friends, party afterward.

Fabulous, right?

WRONG.

Because he called me at 6:30 P.M. the night of. Let me clarify that I’m a chick who’s totally open to last minute things. I hate ‘reservations’ of any kind. Especially, for brunch. I’m easygoing about where we go and I usually even offer to pay. When last minute things work out, I love it. The problem is that last minute in New York usually works out two times out of ten. If seeing each other is a priority, there needs to be a plan.

Weather factors in too. This isn’t easygoing summer anymore where you can slip on flip flops and be out the door showcasing your beautiful tan and walk to meet up with friends with ten minutes notice. Sadly, those days have passed. We’re in anal-retentive winter now. Right now, we’re in what I call the winter crunch. This period between Thanksgiving and Christmas is a whacked-out work-fest for most of us. Stress is high. Temperatures are low. Time is more precious than ever. It’s dark at freakin’ five o’clock.

So when you call me out of the blue to make dinner plans at six thirty PM on a Saturday night in December, it’s a struggle for me to just appreciate the gesture. New York isn’t the real world. I tend to plan with even my closest friends three days out. We’re all just that busy.

Doesn’t my date understand that?

He’s busy too!

And this is when I start to get suspicious. Was I number three on a list of “possible dates” he already called? Is he expecting me to be that pushover girl who’s always available at a moments notice? A girl who rushes to get ready, nicks herself shaving in the shower and shows up panting but pretending she didn’t just do the beauty equivalent of the 100-yard dash.

IS THAT WHAT HE THINKS I AM!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!

Men, take note: Even the simple, thoughtful task of asking a women out to dinner with you and your friends has the ability to enrage her.

Since I have a life, and by six thirty in the evening already had plans for Saturday night, we didn’t end up seeing each other. Granted, I was disappointed. But I can’t rearrange my life last second for someone who doesn’t have the common courtesy to call me at 3:30 PM instead of 6:30 PM. With the advanced notice of a 3:30 call this story might have had a happy ending. I’m sure a spectacular evening would’ve ensued.

Instead, I remain dateless, bitter, and wondering what number I was on my gentleman’s potential “push over date list.”

Get with the program guys. Women will thank you…and you’ll thank yourself when you see the hot undergarments we’ve had time to specially prepare and change into.

It’s a win-win situation.

Last 5 posts by Model Behavior

• Wild Abandon - April 21st, 2008
• Go Crazy on Condoms - April 3rd, 2008
• Exit My Life, Please - March 31st, 2008
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