Stamped: April 3rd, 2008 | Toggle Similar
Tagged: casual sex, condoms, internet stuff, safe sex, sex toys, the bedroom, unsolicited advice.

Who hasn’t been there?

The throes of passion. Four in the morning. You’re fantasizing about what a fabulous couple you’ll make at brunch. He’s fantasizing about his favorite porn and wondering if he can play it on silent without you noticing. It’s romance out of a fairy tale. Everything seems perfect, until someone realizes you’re missing condoms.

This discovery can put a lot of pleasurable activity to a jerking halt. The good news is guys will do pretty much anything for sex, so usually end up disheveled at Lucky’s 24-Hour Deli or Duane Reade at dawn, only to return home and find their partner happily passed out in a cocoon of bed sheets that would take large scissors to get her out of. So he scowls, leaves you to sleep and becomes especially embittered upon realizing he still has to go to brunch with your friends. The next day over breakfast, he acts like an asshole.

Sad story.

So in the era of the internet where everything’s available online, why not check out a service like CondomJungle.com? Not only do they carry every major brand (Trojan, Durex, ONE, LifeStyles and eighteen others I’ve never heard of) they have every size and style that you can peruse at your convenience without feeling like ‘that loser mesmerized by all the condom options in aisle 4.’ Exploring their site, I actually learned that different condom companies use slightly varying ‘recipes’ to make their product, which makes sense because while I’m clueless, I’ve noticed most guys become attached to one brand over another. I mean, you’re putting these things on a pretty sensitive part of your body. Shouldn’t you take the time to find one you really like?

While I’m a confident adult, condoms at the cash register still make me feel sixteen. I’m not sure why, but buying lubricant is even worse. No, men aren’t the only gender who needs lubricant. When you’re newly in love and having sex five times a day, women need it too. The good news is that CondomJungle.com sells lubricants as well (again, so many varying brands and options!) Oh, and all these items are at a sharp discount from what you’d find in stores. On orders over $29 you get free shipping, and even get free sample condoms with your order. There’s no embarrassment factor since shipping is Secret Ops level discreet so no one knows what’s in the package. Plus you can leisurely get aroused reading the nitty-gritties about products before buying.

So:
-Discount prices
-Free shipping
-The privacy to peruse
-Free condoms
-Non-descript packaging

Versus

The everybody loses at 5 A.M. deli – pissy brunch situation?

Sign me up!

They even have a cute purple finger puppet called the Trojan Vibrating Touch Her Pleasure. I like anything with the world ‘pleasure,’ especially if said with a Brazilian accent. Sadly, I’m an infant and still terrified of sex toys, but someone more courageous should check it out and get back to me.

Model Behavior’s an avid supporter of safe sex. Since it’s officially spring, it’s just a fact that we’ll all be getting it on more. So bulk up on condoms now. Happy love making!

Last 5 posts by Model Behavior

• Wild Abandon - April 21st, 2008
• Exit My Life, Please - March 31st, 2008
• Shut Up and Be Feminine - March 11th, 2008
• I Hate Cupid - February 12th, 2008
• Girl Power – Renewed, Revitalized and Going Digital - February 8th, 2008