One half year together is now over No wind is as elated as my heart. Even though we are familiar lovers, How beautiful to play with practiced art! An intimacy mines the deepest gold, Loving more as labyrinths unfold, Full, then more full, as we'll soon discover. [...]

Well, I did it again. Dammit to hell. I opened my big fat mouth in pursuit of honesty. Only this time, rather than cause emotional damage to an unsuspecting receiver, I caused damage in the form of self inflicted sabotage. Karma, you little bitch. For well over a year my best [...]

I've been sick. Not just a summer cold sick, but the death virus climbed up in me and grabbed hold of my soul sick. Worse than that, my children have been sick, too. Then the husband. Suffice to say, it has sucked ginormous donkey balls. Being the first week [...]

I love my vagina. Despite its monthly release of the red demon it has served me well. And although I truly thought it might cease up and fall off during the birth of my son, it stayed the course with only minimal damage. Those extra few stitches really helped. I even [...]

I am not a new-age tree-huggin' peace, love & happiness practitioner. Although..eh hem..I do drive a Volkswagen Beetle. Um, with peace symbol tail light covers. I've also spent a few years of my life as a vegetarian, along with a few months convinced that I was Pagan. Then [...]

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Mr. Depp for bringing the sexy pirate back. Pirate paraphernalia was once bogarted entirely by Halloween and renaissance faire goers. But thanks in part to Disney and Depp, pirate garb is the new black. Shoes, t-shirts, hand bags, iPod cases, jewelry, [...]

Is it really true that you can't help blowing your load 57 seconds post initial thrust? I've been told, eh hem, that men can't help it; that when they're about to cum there's nothing they can do and that it's not about their being selfish, but about basic ejaculation physics. But [...]

I've never been one of those women who proudly proclaims her god-given right to be a bitch. I've never bought underwear with the word "bitch" embroidered on the ass and I've certainly never accepted the word as a token of flattery. Unless I'm being pummeled from behind [...]

I’m a really good chameleon. I can play the part of a well-mannered woman from the right side of the tracks speaking eloquently and with decorum just as effortlessly as I can play a foul mouthed beer guzzlin' white trash mamacita. I consider it a gift. The truth is, I relate [...]

Seriously world, we have got to come up with a way to tactfully inform our fellow humans of their public, yet oblivious, embarrassment. For example, I could, and should, tell the assistant Girl Scout leader of our local troop that the bushel of hair sprouting in every which direction [...]

It was a gorgeous September morning in 1995 when we packed the last of our belongings (which consisted of about two pots, a rickety bed and a used pink couch) in the U-Haul and started out on a 700 mile road trip to begin our new life together. My first [...]

A friend pointed me in the direction of a news article recently about a Boston woman who is suing a couple of doctors for failing to rid her of an unwanted pregnancy. The staggering scope of stupidity in this woman’s decision is incomprehensible to me. Before anyone [...]

I like to think that as far as wives go I’m pretty stellar. Not Pamela Anderson or Jenna Jameson (or the chic in this pic stellar), but stellar in my own right. 1. I clean (rather good). 2. I cook (rather good). 3. I haven’t given up on my looks merely because [...]

People grow big balls on the internet. The social bashing that we can get away with here, in the confines of our comfy chairs, would likely insight riots in certain face to face encounters. You know, as well as I do, that’s why we do it. Ahh, [...]

It might come as a shock to some of you, but I am the tattooed freak of my family. I’m pretty much the tattooed freak of my entire circle of friends and acquaintances. Granted, compared to the true tattoo fandom I am but a mere blip on the inked [...]

Recently I got into a conversation with a friend about virginity. More specifically, about “taking” ones virginity. Personally I never liked that expression. To take something implies that it is tangible. You can’t really take virginity. You can nullify it or perhaps even rescind [...]

In the vastness that is the internet you can find some truly mind-boggling shit. There is such a multitude of peculiarities out there that there’s almost too little bizarreness. Where's the shock value any more? In a way, we have become desensitized. But every so often, if you’re [...]

There. It’s over. I hope you all survived. It would seem that I’ve become just as cynical as the rest of the married-too-long-to-give-a-shit V-Day haters. I wasn’t always this way, though. I used to be wrapped up in the over-commercialized anticipation and romanticism of gilded [...]

I lied during confessional. I’m not certain if that was the moment I sealed my ticket to hell or not. I'd like to think that since I was in confessional at the time of my prevarication that perhaps any bad juju I had coming to me was nullified. I [...]

I read that line years ago and it still cracks me up. True, I amuse easily, but that’s beside the point. For the second time in this godforsaken month the crimson tide hath cometh. I’m on the rag. Aunt Flow is visiting. I’m having my friend. There internet. You’ve now been fully [...]