Dear Hair Stylist Gerard, So, we're officially fighting. And by fighting I mean I want to stab you repeatedly with those little swords they use for cocktail onions. I would sincerely like to know what part of "I'd like a trim" in English translates into "fashion mullet" in [...]

So here we are, and it’s Thursday. Great. That means I have three full days to do my LEAST favorite thing in the world. Come up with a costume for Halloween. The one themed party event night that is almost impossible to shrug off. Especially [...]

Okay, so a few days ago I turned the ripe old age of 26. (That’s right boys, this ass is PRIME. Get it while it’s h-o-t.) Anyway, despite being at the top of my game physically, I’m a getting a leetle old for all the games. [...]

I am in love. I have officially been (mostly) unemployed for over two months and I am in love with not sitting in a cubicle every day. I just recently got hooked up with a temporary part time gig that allows me to sit in front of the computer [...]

I’m not exactly sure the point and/or direction that today’s diatribe will take but basically I’m in a particularly rank mood about being single. Perhaps it’s seeing one too many “perfect” couples waltzing around in their own little bubbles of puke colored bliss, or maybe it’s the nauseating blog [...]

Well, I knew keeping the door open to a sequel would come in handy, now I know how J.K. Rowling feels (the lazy bitch). I'm completely devoid of any original thought this morning and unfortunately my IV of coffee isn't helping. So here you have it, two more [...]

Really, really fucking pissed. Since living on the west coast, I have mellowed considerably, all the talk of energy and karma and soothing things like that chilled me out quite a bit. Well my temporary stay on the east coast has cured me of that bullshit and I [...]

For the record, today sucks. It is cold and rainy and I had to get up early to write this because I TOTALLY FUCKING FORGOT IT WAS WEDNESDAY, yesterday. Such is the life of the duly unemployed. Bitches. *Warning: The following entry contains rampant generalizations, unfounded [...]

Friends, clergymen, nymphomaniacs, vagrants and hot Australians, I’d like to welcome you to Lo’s Church of Unattainable Men. We are a non-denominational house of ill repute and all are welcomed with open arms and inappropriate caresses. This is where all the unavailable men go to join forces, [...]

Hypothetical Thursdays Okay, so I have a question for you – one which might send me to a particularly hot place in a little woven basket, but ah well. So I’m not sure how many of you out there are voyeurs (well, ecouterists, really) but I’d bet the farm it’s [...]

LIVE from Montreal…it's the estrogen shit show. So recently I went off birth control. Yes, it's true. Patrick Dempsey and I are trying to get pregnant. I know, I know, very exciting news, feel free to tell TMZ and the pressure off K-Fed and Brit, seriously I don't mind. Regardless, [...]

Okay so we're having a little communication breakdown here in the land of the frenchie's. See, me no speaka da language. C'est une probleme, because my little manual that tells me about my internet connection? yeah, it's all in French. Perfect. Not only do I [...]

Well troops, I’m a little at a loss for things to bitch about. Currently I’m blogging from Montreal, QC and having a grand ole time. I’m subletting an apartment for two months to chill out and figure out what the fizzle to do with my life. I [...]

Alright my little fuckpuppets, momma’s gonna make this quick. Kinda like your Dad did last night. I’m at a cafe with NO free wireless (No I’m not in Arkansas, shockingly) and I only have 30 minutes left on my card. I’m also couch surfing at a place with [...]

Myspace is the Devil: Part One Okay, I’m throwing it all out there. In the name of your entertainment and the greater good, I am doing what no one else admits to unless they are severely intoxicated or….well, severely intoxicated. Myspace stalking. Yes, yes, I know, not a [...]

This is going to be short, mostly because I’m tired, hungover, and generally unpleasant. Earlier this week I was reminded yet again of why life would be so much easier if I were a lesbian. So you’ve heard the joke right? What does the one lesbian bring [...]

Alright, alright, I’m back. Thanks to Meme, I was all but tracked down by bounty hunters and dragged back to civilization. After two weeks of no cell phone, practically no email, and copious amounts of vino, I was just about to go off grid forever. You wouldn’t [...]

Gianormous boobs, The Lord Xenu, Champagne and Inappropriate T-Shirts See, this is what happens when I venture north of hipster land.  Last night I went to this fundraiser thing at a swank champagne bar north of Market.  My best friend and I thought it would be fun to dress up like [...]

Okay ladies and gentleman, I’m done. I’m totally and utterly done. For the last two weeks I have been searching for an apartment with the zeal of a homeless guy dumpster diving behind Trader Joe’s, and I’m fucking over it. Because San Francisco is so ludicrously expensive, [...]

It's the one year anniversary of Girlspoke! Yes, yes, we're very exciting. We love to celebrate, and really, who better to celebrate than yourself? First of all, you guys might not be getting a rant today but consider yourselves on my shit list because the only [...]